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You know you got your hairline from your Dad’s side of the family and your eye color from your mom. You know diabetes runs in your family, as does heart disease and Parkinson’s. But do you know that many families also pass down trauma to their loved ones? It’s not just our physical makeup and […]
You know you got your hairline from your Dad’s side of the family and your eye color from your mom. You know diabetes runs in your family, as does heart disease and Parkinson’s.
But do you know that many families also pass down trauma to their loved ones? It’s not just our physical makeup and risk of disease that we inherit from our family, it is also the emotional wounds as well.
Before you were born you were in your mother’s womb and very susceptible to her emotions. As your mother felt joy, her body released hormones that made you feel joy.
When she felt sad, scared, or angry, her body released hormones that made her experience these same emotions.
Eventually, you were born and raised in a house that may not always be happy or harmonious. Your parents may have been emotionally distant or even abusive because they may have been brought up by parents who had their own reasons for being emotionally absent or abusive.
Many families have unresolved trauma that works its way through one generation to the next. Those families who have dealt with addiction, depression, anxiety, terror, racism, and the like, often continue to pass on negative emotions, poor behaviors, low self-esteem, and maladaptive coping strategies. These not only lead to a painful and hard life, but they can also lead to chronic health conditions.
If you have a history of family conflict or trauma, you can be the individual who puts an end to the cycle. You can be the one who begins a new cycle, one of passing down loving communication and positive self-images.
Of course, it will take work on your part to overcome the pain of your family history. That’s why it’s a good idea to work with a mental health professional who can offer you the right tools and coping strategies that you can then pass down to your own children.
If you’re interested in exploring therapy, please get in touch with me! I’d love to help you end the cycle of trauma in your family.
SOURCES:
The Amygdala Answer: How understanding the origin of your anxiety will lead to the best solution
We usually assume all anxiety has a similar biological process, but anxiety can come from two different places in the brain.
The Cortex
If anxiety is caused by our thoughts, it originates in the cortex. For example, if you are preparing for a big presentation and you start to think about all the things that could go wrong, you will likely begin to feel anxious about it. Those thoughts come from the cortex, which activates the amygdala, and then the amygdala responds by releasing an anxious response in the body.
The Amygdala
However, when anxious feelings come on suddenly before we are cognitively aware of the cause, that anxiety originates in the amygdala (without the cortex being involved). This type of response is the body’s way of protecting itself from perceived danger when there is no time to wait for our thoughts to recognize there is a problem. For example, if you heard a car horn just before being in a car accident, your amygdala might have learned to associate the sound of a horn with danger. If this happens, the amygdala will initiate an immediate anxiety response every time it hears a car horn. Only after the body has responded in this way will your thoughts catch up to apply reason and determine if the horn is a sign of danger or not. The amygdala has activated a response aimed at protecting the body, without you having cognitive awareness until after it happens.
Responding to Amygdala Anxiety
Knowing what area of the brain is causing our anxiety is the key to understanding how to best address it. If our anxiety is coming directly from the amygdala, then the cortex (and conscious thought), are not involved. So, it would not be effective to try to use our thoughts to change this type of response. With amygdala-based anxiety, the best thing we can do is work on exposure. Finding ways to expose ourselves to the trigger that causes this type of anxiety will over time teach our bodies that the situation is safe. The amygdala learns from experience, so the more we experience a perceived threat without a negative outcome, the less likely it will continue to cause an anxiety response.
Responding to Cortex Anxiety
With cortex-based anxiety, the most effective approaches address our thoughts directly. Cognitive restructuring refers to the process of identifying thoughts that cause anxiety and replacing them with helpful thoughts. Thanks to neuroplasticity, each time we do this we are creating new pathways in the brain that will help to prevent an anxious response in the future. Different problematic thought patterns contribute to anxiety, such as expecting the worst, jumping to conclusions, judging yourself unfairly, making ‘should’ statements, and perfectionism. Using these thought patterns as a guide, you can identify specific thoughts you have that lead to anxiety, and then develop coping thoughts to replace the unhelpful thoughts. For example, if you frequently think ‘I need to do this without making any mistakes’ (perfectionism) it might lead to feeling anxiety about completing the task, and possibly prevent you from doing it. A more helpful coping thought to use in its place could be ‘I am learning, it is safe for me to make mistakes.’
Anxiety is a complex issue, and this is a very brief overview of how understanding where it originates in the brain can help inform the proper intervention. These processes would best be navigated with the help of a mental health professional trained in the treatment of anxiety.
–Laura Gross, LMSW
Laura Gross is a Clinical Therapist with Marsh Psychology Group
You can contact her at:
lgross@marshpsychologygroup.com
Pittman, Catherine M., and Elizabeth M. Karle. Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, & Worry. Echo Point Books & Media, 2019.
When you think about it, modern women are really like superheroes. Not only are they obtaining college degrees and climbing corporate ladders, they’re doing so while also raising families. They may also find themselves taking care of aging parents at the same time. While some women are able to manage juggling all of these big […]
When you think about it, modern women are really like superheroes. Not only are they obtaining college degrees and climbing corporate ladders, they’re doing so while also raising families. They may also find themselves taking care of aging parents at the same time.
While some women are able to manage juggling all of these big responsibilities, many women, over time, will experience burnout and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Last summer, the world held its collective breath as gymnast Simone Biles made the heartbreaking decision to withdraw from the Olympic finals. She was very transparent, announcing her decision was a result of making her mental health a priority.
This was a real act of bravery and her decision shone a light on the importance of protecting the mental health of world-class athletes.
But the reality is, protecting your health is important for all women, no matter your career choice. From professional athletes to CEOs and every career woman in between, it is vitally important to prioritize their mental health.
The following are some ways professional women can protect their mental health from the burdens of careers and family life:
Accept and Expect Imperfections
No matter how hard you try, you’ll never get everything perfect 100% of the time, and that’s okay. Recognize your own humanity and give yourself a break.
Find Support
As you continue to try and be there for everyone else, it’s important that you find people and things to lean on. This can mean family, friends, your faith, or a personal exercise routine.
Make Time for Yourself
It’s important to step back from the daily grind every once in a while to just rest and relax. The more you take the time to recharge your battery, the more able you’ll be to juggle the responsibilities of your life.
Talk with Someone
Sometimes it’s easier to speak with someone outside of your social or familial network. Talking with a therapist can really help you gain perspective on your life and your abilities. He or she can also give you strategies to navigate the stressful situations in your life.
If you’d like to speak with someone and explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
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It’s rare that any of us will get through life without experiencing anxiety at some point. But some people have the burden of dealing with anxiety on a daily basis. Whether it’s over something big or insignificant, anxiety stops us from living a normal life full of joy and potential. Here are 5 ways you […]
It’s rare that any of us will get through life without experiencing anxiety at some point. But some people have the burden of dealing with anxiety on a daily basis. Whether it’s over something big or insignificant, anxiety stops us from living a normal life full of joy and potential.
Here are 5 ways you can begin reducing your anxiety:
1. Recognize You Are in Control
When you are in the grips of anxiety, it feels very much like it has total control over you. But the reality is, you are in control. While external events can trigger our emotions, ultimately, we have the choice whether we feel those emotions or not. So the good news is, you don’t have to suffer with anxiety, you simply have to decide to show it who’s really boss.
2. Diaphragmatic breathing
This physical strategy is very helpful to relax in stressful situations. While breathing, focus on breathing into the belly while keeping your shoulders down and relaxed. As opposed to expanding your chest, focus on letting your abdomen expand while inhaling.
3. Move Your Body
Exercise is a great way to alleviate the muscle tension that goes along with chronic anxiety. Plus, exercise releases feel good chemicals in your body like serotonin. But don’t sweat it, you don’t have to do a grueling workout at the gym to gain these benefits. Just a half hour a day of walking, biking, swimming or yoga can significantly help reduce your anxiety.
4. Start a Gratitude Journal
Get into the habit of writing down three to five things you are grateful for each night before retiring. This is a simple way to train your mind to focus on all of the good that surrounds you.
5. Speak with a Professional
The cure for any physical or psychological ailment is to get to the root cause of it, not simply manage the symptoms. A therapist can help you access your inner world to uncover what is triggering your fear and also offer coping tools and strategies.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
People with mental and physical disabilities have been using service animals and emotional support animals for decades. According to the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), under Titles II and III, a service animal “is any dog specifically trained to do work or perform tasks for the benefit of an individual with a disability including a […]
People with mental and physical disabilities have been using service animals and emotional support animals for decades. According to the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), under Titles II and III, a service animal “is any dog specifically trained to do work or perform tasks for the benefit of an individual with a disability including a physical, sensory, psychiatric, intellectual or other mental disability.”
But it’s not just trained service animals that can help us cope with life’s challenges, all pets seem to have the ability to calm us, center us, and just make us feel all around better about being on the planet.
Indeed, there are many mental health benefits of having a pet, and here are some of them:
Petting Reduces Stress
Your dog or cat may love when you pet them, but it turns out it’s equally beneficial to you as well! Rhythmic petting has been shown to release oxytocin, the hormone related to stress and anxiety relief. Once this is released your blood pressure and cortisol levels will decrease and you’ll feel much better.
You Don’t Feel Alone
The only thing worse than actually being alone, is feeling alone when we’re around other people. So often we can be with friends and loved ones, yet feel totally disconnected.
But when we spend time with our pets, we feel like we’re with true companions. They make us feel happy, safe and secure. Perhaps it’s because they don’t judge us and love us unconditionally that allows us to connect in a way that is often not possible with other human beings.
Pets Help Us Be More at Peace
It’s hard for most people to be completely in the moment. We’re either regretting the past or worrying about the future. But when we engage with our pets, it helps us take our minds off of any negative stressors and focus them on the adorable fluffball in front of us.
They Help Your Body Release Feel Good Chemicals
When your dog rolls around on his back or your cat rubs her head under your chin, you can’t help but smile. And when you smile, your body releases serotonin and dopamine, which are nerve transmitters associated with calmness and happiness.
Don’t have a pet of your own at home? You can still gain these benefits by volunteering at a shelter. There are many animals out there alone who would love your companionship, and you’ll feel great in the process.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring mental health treatment, please contact me today. While I’m not fluffy and don’t have a tail, I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help you.
Personal Strengths
Positive psychology is the study of well-being and identifies tools and behaviors that increase positive feelings. One area of research is cultivating personal strengths to increase wellness. A personal strength is defined as “a pre-existing capacity for a particular way of behaving, thinking, or feeling that is authentic and energizing to the user, and enables optimal functioning, development, and performance”(Paquette,2018).
Research suggests that people who identify and use personal strengths:
show a decrease in depression,
increased sense of well being,
Increased optimism,
stronger social and romantic relationships,
buffers against stress.
Positive Psychology researchers Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson identified seven categories of strengths:
Wisdom and Knowledge:
Strengths: Creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective
Humanity:
Strengths: love, kindness, social intelligence,
Courage:
Strengths: bravery, integrity, persistence, vitality
Justice:
Strengths: citizenship, fairness, leadership
Temperance:
Strengths: forgiveness and mercy, humility and modesty, prudence, self-regulation
Transcendence:
Strengths: appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, humor, spirituality
Identifying personal strengths:
Perhaps the easiest way to identify personal strengths is to take Seligman and Peterson’s Values in Action survey at www.viacharacter.org. This free online survey will identify your core strengths.
Incorporating Personal Strengths into daily life:
Once you’ve identified your strengths, take some time to ask yourself the following:
How am I using my strengths in my daily life?
Am I using all my strengths?
Are there new ways to use neglected strengths in my daily life?
Identifying and using your personal strengths increases well being. If you needs help identifying your strengths, psychotherapy can help. Meeting with a psychologist can help you explored blocks to happiness and embracing the best parts of yourself.
Resources:
The Happiness Toolbox by Jonah Paquette(2018)
VIA Character Strengths:
https://www.viacharacter.org/
Pamela Marsh, Psy.D.
Pamela Marsh is a licensed psychologist at Marsh Psychology Group. She can be reached at pmarsh@marshpsychologygroup.com or 248-869-2024.
Positive Psychology is the science of well-being. It focuses on skills that foster good feelings and resilience. One of the most powerful and impactful area of positive psychology is the practice of gratitude.
Gratitude is defined as a sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life. It consisted of 2 related steps:
Research shows that regular gratitude practice impacts both our psychology and bodies. First, gratitude has been shown to “ decrease rates of depression and stress, while enhancing positive mental states such as joy, optimism and tranquility”(Paquette, 2018). Second, people who regularly practice gratitude, have overall improved physical health, stronger immune systems, and reduced rates of stress-related illnesses. Third, our brains change structurally and chemically in ways that increase well-being.
Jonah Paquette, Psy.D.(2018) suggests a good place to start is to start noticing positive occurrences in our daily lives. The “Three Good Things” technique is a simple way to start a gratitude practice. You will need a few sheets of paper or a notebook and a pen/pencil for this exercise.
Three Good Things
Instructions: Before bed each night for 2 weeks
1) Write down three things that went well that day. They can be little or big things, there is no right answer. Example: I had a restful day off and feel relaxed.
2) Explain why you think this happened and or your contribution to the event. Example: I had a restful day because I kept the TV turned off and did not check my work email.
Try to challenge yourself not to repeat an entry over the next 2 weeks.
Shifting to a Gratitude Mindset
Once you feel comfortable noticing good things in your life, change your journal entries to reflect what you are grateful for, and explain your reasoning. This subtle adjustment adds a deeper meaning to your practice. It widens the “goodness” in your life to include an acknowledgment of an external source of goodness and an experience of being thankful. This shift deepens the positive impact on your mood and physical health.
References and resources:
The Happiness Tool Box by Jonah Paquette, Psy.D. 2018 PESI Publishing and Media, Eau Claire, WI.
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/
Be Well,
Dr. Marsh
Pamela Marsh, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist at Marsh Psychology Group, in Huntington Woods, Michigan. She can be reached at pmarsh@marshpsychologygroup.com
Boundaries in relationship are the key to fufilling connecitons.
Many of us have difficulty with boundaries in relationships and might not even be aware of the problem. If you often feel resentful, drained, unfulfilled, or taken advantage of in your relationships, poor boundaries could be the reason. Having boundaries with others means you can verbalize or act to enforce your limits and maintain your sense of self. Areas of interpersonal boundaries can be physical, mental/emotional, or resource-based.
Physical Boundaries: How others comment on your appearance, limits related to physical intimacy and touch
Mental/Emotional Boundaries: Autonomy in one’s opinions and beliefs, not feeling responsible for someone else’s feelings
Resource Boundaries: Limits on how much time you are available, how much money you contribute, what you are willing to do for the other person
How to Start Setting Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries in your relationships starts with being in touch with your own needs. We can become so used to putting others before ourselves we don’t even recognize what we need, let alone have the capacity to assert those needs! Start by noticing where you feel resentful, drained, unfulfilled, or taken advantage of in your relationships. These feelings are a sign of your unmet needs and can be used to identify where you would benefit from establishing healthier boundaries.
If healthy boundaries were never modeled for you, it can be a scary thing to try. Sometimes we are so used to automatically saying ‘yes’ we feel afraid to say ‘no’ and this becomes a resources issue. If this is the case for you, start by identifying a different response such as”‘let me think about that and get back to you”-this will allow you time to think things through and check in with yourself to determine if you genuinely want to say ‘yes’ or would be doing so out of obligation or fear.
Similarly, sometimes we are so used to focusing on others’ needs and emotions we become uncomfortable looking at our own. We have developed the false belief that meeting the needs of others will keep us safe while meeting our own needs is unsafe. In reality, fulfillment and regulation (safety) comes from being attuned to our own needs – our true self – and asserting those needs in our relationships.
It is important to note, not all boundaries need to be verbalized. Sometimes the most effective way to establish a boundary is through your behavior, and the other person might not even be aware of it. In situations where we do communicate our limits to someone, boundaries are not ultimatums or ways to try to control the other person. The goal is to be clear on our limits and become responsible for our needs in relationships, while also respecting the limits of others. When first starting this process, try writing out what you want to communicate to the other person first. Consider the relationship and what you think is beneficial for the other person to know regarding your boundary. Remember, we do not owe an explanation for our needs, but it can be helpful to communicate the ‘why’ depending on the situation.
Growing Pains
Expect to feel uncomfortable when you start this process, as with most changes we make, but sometimes it can feel too uncomfortable to do on our own. Because many of us were taught to have unhealthy boundaries in childhood, the reasons behind these difficulties are often deeply rooted and difficult to address without support. Working with a mental health professional can provide guidance in understanding our difficulties with boundaries and help us navigate healthy changes.
References:
LePera, N. (2021). How to Do the Work. Macmillan Publishers, p. 179-205.
-Laura Gross, LMSW
Laura Gross is a Clinical Therapist with Marsh Psychology Group.
You can contact her at:
(248)860-2024
lgross@marshpsychologygroup.com
Our mental health significantly impacts our quality of life, so it makes sense that we would want to do all we can to improve it. This may include things like eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting enough quality sleep each night. But there is something else that greatly influences our mental health and that […]
Our mental health significantly impacts our quality of life, so it makes sense that we would want to do all we can to improve it. This may include things like eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting enough quality sleep each night.
But there is something else that greatly influences our mental health and that is a community and a sense of belonging. Human beings are wired for connection. When we feel connected to others, we feel loved and supported. Friends can often help alleviate the stress in our life because our friends are there for us to lean on.
If you have been feeling alone and isolated, here are some ways you can find your own community and begin to connect with others:
What activities and hobbies do you have? You may want to join a book club or take a painting lesson. If you’re athletic or used to playing a sport in school, maybe you could join a local team. You’ll no doubt find it easier to connect with others who enjoy doing the same things you do.
Being of service to others is highly rewarding, and volunteering is also a great way to connect with others who share similar values. What causes do you feel passionate about? What charities do you support? Check out their website or give them a call to see what volunteering opportunities they may have available.
Do you have a particular religion or spiritual practice you connect with? Maybe it’s time to get back to your church or try taking that meditation class you’ve been thinking about. Is there a political cause that speaks to your heart? Helping others reach a meaningful goal can be a great way to find purpose in your own life.
Humans are not meant to be alone. We need to socialize. If you have been feeling down, now’s the time to go out and make some new connections.
And if you’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for some time and could use someone to talk to, please give me a call.
SOURCES:
The old saying goes, “Into every life a little rain must fall.” Stress is like rain. A little of it can be a good thing. But too much can cause havoc and devastation. Our bodies are designed to handle a little bit of acute or sudden stress. But when stress is prolonged or becomes chronic, […]
The old saying goes, “Into every life a little rain must fall.” Stress is like rain. A little of it can be a good thing. But too much can cause havoc and devastation.
Our bodies are designed to handle a little bit of acute or sudden stress. But when stress is prolonged or becomes chronic, it can have devastating consequences to our health.
Here are just some of the ways stress can negatively impact your body:
Respiratory Issues
Prolonged stress can lead to respiratory issues such as shortness of breath. Individuals who do not have an underlying respiratory disease may not be very impacted. But for those with pre-existing conditions such as COPD and asthma, stress can dangerously exacerbate the situation.
Heart Health
When we’re stressed we are in fight or flight mode. This causes our heart to beat faster and our blood vessels to dilate. In short-term scenarios, these physical manifestations help get us out of danger.
But for prolonged periods, this can put a lot of stress on our heart and blood vessels, potentially leading to a heart attack or stroke.
Gut Health
Did you know that 80% of your immune system is located in your gut? It’s incredibly important to ensure your gut is healthy!
But chronic stress can wreak havoc on your gut as it changes the beneficial gut bacteria. And a change in this bacteria can negatively impact your mood. And when you’re already feeling stressed, the last thing you need is to also feel depressed.
Sexual Health
Both the male and female reproductive systems are influenced by the nervous system. When we are stressed, our sexual hormones can get out of balance and we can lose sexual desire. Men may find it hard to achieve and maintain an erection. Stress can also make it hard to conceive and affect a woman’s menstrual cycle.
As you can see, stress can really impact your physical health in a negative way. While we can’t stop the rain from falling or stress from entering our lives, we can practice healthy stress management. That means eating right, getting enough exercise, and quality sleep each night.
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