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EMDR-Phases 3&4 Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, commonly known as EMDR, is a mental health therapy approach that works to reduce distressing emotions that are linked to traumatic memories. EMDR treats the mental health conditions, often anxiety, depression or other symptoms, which occur because of the memories we have stored from these traumatic […]
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, commonly known as EMDR, is a mental health therapy approach that works to reduce distressing emotions that are linked to traumatic memories. EMDR treats the mental health conditions, often anxiety, depression or other symptoms, which occur because of the memories we have stored from these traumatic events.
In my first article on the phases of EMDR we looked at Phases 1&2-Client History/Treatment Planning and Preparation. Now we will look at Phases 3&4-Assessment and Desensitization.
Phase 3- Assessment
In phase three the client and therapist will work together to identify
the target memory that triggers emotional distress. This includes what incident caused the trauma? (Was it sexual assault, an accident, the death of a relative etc.?),and what is the most consistent image associated with the memory?
The first step is for the client to select a specific image or mental picture from the target event that best represents the memory. Then the client chooses a statement that expresses a negative self-belief associated with the event. Common negative cognitions could be statements such as, “I am helpless,” “I am worthless,” “I am unlovable,” “I am dirty,” “I am bad,” etc.
During phase three of EMDR therapy, a positive belief is also chosen to help counteract the negative emotions caused by the trauma. The client will pick a positive self-statement that he would rather believe. This statement could be “I am worthwhile/lovable/a good person/in control” or “I can succeed.”
The therapist will then ask the person to estimate how true the positive belief feels using the 1-to-7 Validity of Cognition (VOC) scale. “1” equals “completely false,” and” 7″ equals “completely true.” It is important to give a score that reflects how the person “feels,” not” thinks.”
During the Assessment Phase, the person identifies the negative emotions (fear, anger) and physical sensations (tightness in the stomach, headache) he or she associates with the target. The client also rates the level of disturbance, but uses a different scale called the Subjective Units of Disturbance (SUD) scale. This scale rates the feeling from 0 (no disturbance) to 10 (worst) and is uses this score to assess the disturbance that the client feels throughout the processing.
The goal of EMDR treatment, is for SUD scores of disturbance to decrease while the VOC scores of the positive belief to increase.
Phase 4- Desensitization
Phase four is where the processing of the memory and negative beliefs takes place. The therapist will use some form of Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) to stimulate the mind/brain to process whatever trauma is currently being held in the conscious mind. This usually involves instructing the client to follow hand movements back and forth or hold tappers in each hand.
After a number of eye movements or other form of BLS occur, the therapist will stop and ask, “What are you noticing now?” The client will comment in just a few words what they are noticing. This may be part of the memory, a feeling, or a body sensation. Most of the healing happens while the client is reviewing the memory with the BLS. The therapist will ask the client to continue by stating “Go with that”. The process then continues.
Depending upon the intensity of the response to the trauma, your therapist may adjust the length, speed and type of stimulation used to create the eye movements.
The therapist may have to “circle back” to the original memory multiple times depending on how deep or complex the trauma is, but the process remains the same. The therapist will keep asking the client to hold the memory and the belief and the feelings in mind, while also completing the BLS.
Eventually the memory will feel different. It will have less energy.
The therapist will keep offering BLS until the client is able to grade the memory at a much lower level of disturbance on the 1-10 scale, ideally at a zero –now the memory no longer bothers them. This is the goal of EMDR; to get the client from a point where the memory goes from 8 or 9 out of ten for intensity and unpleasantness, down to a 0-1 out of ten.
During reprocessing, maladaptively stored events are desensitized, integrated, and adaptively stored.
In my third and final segment of the phases of EMDR we will look at phases 5-8-Installation, Body scan and Re-evaluation.
If you have experienced trauma of any kind, and feel you could benefit from EMDR to reduce symptoms and to improve quality of life, feel free to reach out to me at Marsh Psychology Group.
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW is an individual private practice psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma treatment at Marsh Psychology Group. Carol is EMDR trained. Contact her at marshpsychologygroup.com
cvankampen@marshpsychologygroup.com
” https://marshpsychologygroup.com/carol-van-kampen-lmsw/
Resources:
https://www.emdria.org/public-resources/the-eight-phases-of-emdr-therapy/
Postpartum Depression Postpartum depression is a type of depression that can occur in women after giving birth. It is a serious condition that requires treatment and can interfere with a woman’s ability to care for herself and her baby. Symptoms of postpartum depression can include: Persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or emptiness […]
Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression is a type of depression that can occur in women after giving birth. It is a serious condition that requires treatment and can interfere with a woman’s ability to care for herself and her baby.
Symptoms of postpartum depression can include:
It is important to note that these symptoms can also occur as a normal part of the “baby blues,” which is a temporary and milder form of depression that affects many women after giving birth. However, if these symptoms persist or worsen, it is important to seek help from a healthcare provider or mental health professional to determine the best treatment plan.
There are several methods of recovery from postpartum depression, including:
Postpartum depression is a common and treatable condition, and that with proper treatment, it is possible to fully recover and enjoy motherhood. Do not hesitate to reach out for help if you or someone you know is experiencing postpartum depression.
Claudia Coxx, MSW, LMSW
248-860-2024 ext 505
Ccoxx@marshpsychologygroup.com
How To Feel Your Feelings One of the basic foundations of most therapy work is to have awareness of one’s emotions as they come up. But this awareness can often be focused on our thoughts about the emotion instead of feeling it. For example, if someone has anxiety about an upcoming social event, they might […]
How To Feel Your Feelings
One of the basic foundations of most therapy work is to have awareness of one’s emotions as they come up. But this awareness can often be focused on our thoughts about the emotion instead of feeling it. For example, if someone has anxiety about an upcoming social event, they might have the thought ‘I am anxious about this event.’
They might even be able to observe the specific thoughts they are having about the event: picturing the worst that could happen, anticipating discomfort, thinking of ways to avoid the event, etc.
While this is important awareness to have, it enforces the idea that our feelings are something we THINK and ignores the physical experience of feeling them.
Feelings and the Body
Our emotions do not just exist in our brains, they are experienced in our bodies.
While this person is focused on thoughts about their anxiety, they will likely have less awareness of the physical sensations their body is experiencing. For example, anxiety could cause faster breathing, sweating, fluttering in the stomach, heart racing, or shaking.
Even if we know these are physical symptoms of anxiety, we usually do not take the time to fully experience the sensations in the moment. In fact, many of us avoid attuning to our physical experience of emotions because we want to avoid discomfort. But avoiding the physical feelings works against us because it does not allow the emotions to be processed fully, and they will last longer as a result.
By developing the skill of experiencing and connecting with how our emotions feel in the body, we can become better able to allow them to come and go as they are meant to.
A Step by Step Guide to Feeling Your Feelings
Developing this awareness through practice will allow you to be able to eventually tune in to your physical sensations in the moment when you are triggered. This will help in processing and releasing your emotions, as well as better informing you in how to communicate your feelings and needs to others.
Sometimes previous experiences, such as trauma, cause one to become even more disconnected from the awareness of their body, which will make it difficult to access physical sensations. If for any reason you find this practice too challenging to do on your own, working with a mental health professional can help guide you in becoming more attuned to your body in a safe way.
-Laura Gross, LMSW
Laura Gross is a Clinical Therapist with Marsh Psychology Group
You can contact her at:
(248)860-2024
lgross@marshpsychologygroup.com
Source: Emily McDowell, @emilyonlife
EMDR Phase 1&2 Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, commonly known as EMDR, is a mental health therapy approach. EMDR treats mental health conditions that occur because of the memories we have from traumatic events in the past. In this article I will be addressing phases 1&2 of EMDR. I will follow up with an […]
EMDR Phase 1&2
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, commonly known as EMDR, is a mental health therapy approach. EMDR treats mental health conditions that occur because of the memories we have from traumatic events in the past.
In this article I will be addressing phases 1&2 of EMDR. I will follow up with an additional article addressing phase 3&4 and finally in my third and final article, I will address phases 5-7.
Phase 1: History and Treatment Planning
Phase 1 generally takes 1-2 sessions but can continue throughout the therapy process, especially if new issues are revealed. In the first phase of EMDR treatment, the therapist takes a thorough history of the client and develops a treatment plan. This phase will include a discussion of the specific problem that has brought him into therapy, the clients behaviors stemming from that problem, and the symptoms.
The therapist will assess the client’s readiness for EMDR. The client and therapist start toidentify possible targets for EMDR processing. These include distressing memories and current situations that cause emotional distress. Other targets may include related incidents from the past.
Initial EMDR processing often are connected to childhood events rather than to adult-onset stressors. Clients generally gain insight into their situations; the emotional distress resolves and they start to change their behaviors. The length of treatment depends upon the number of traumas and the age of onset.
EMDR therapy is most effective when a client feels a connection with the therapist – a sense that the therapist: 1. Has the client’s best interest in mind (that sense of ‘I’ve got you’): 2. Will help the client to feel safe: 3. Will help the client to feel grounded and present
A big part of Phase 1 and 2 is establishing this relationship between the therapist and client.
Phase 2: Preparation
For most clients this will take 1-4 sessions. For others, with a very traumatized background, or with certain diagnoses, a longer time may be necessary.
During the second phase of treatment, the therapist ensures the client has several different ways of handling emotional distress. The therapist may teach the client a variety of strategies and stress reduction techniques the client can learn and practice during and after sessions. In Phase 2 we are preparing for the worst. We are looking for the client’s ability to regulate, their ability to stay safe, and their ability to connect. We are investigating what they are currently doing and looking for any imbalance. In this phase we are making sure the client has all the tools and resources needed to begin the reprocessing of memories. We are looking for the dangerous issues and safety issues, as well as the annoying things and connection issues, that will impede the healing process. The therapist may talk about the Window of Tolerance and strategies to make your window larger.
Once a client can reduce emotional distress using the tools they were taught, they are generally able to proceed to the next phase
We want the client to get through the processing as quickly and safely as possible. We want to address all questions and concerns the client may have. The therapist’s task here is to understand what it is like to be the client as completely as possible.
An important goal of EMDR therapy is to make sure that the client can take care of him or herself.
In my next article on EMDR, we will look at phases 3&4.
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW is an individual private practice psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma treatment at Marsh Psychology Group. Carol is EMDR trained. Contact her at marshpsychologygroup.com
cvankampen@marshpsychologygroup.com
” https://marshpsychologygroup.com/carol-van-kampen-lmsw/
Sources:
https://www.emdria.org/public-resources/the-eight-phases-of-emdr-therapy/
Image: https://britishpsychotherapy.co.uk/emdr-2/
BIPOC Mental Health According to the American Counseling Association: “Black and Indigenous people and other people of color (BIPOC) experience a broad spectrum of ongoing discrimination, oppression, and inequity rooted in America’s colonialist history, all of which foster both collective and individual trauma in those communities.” The American Psychiatric Association reported in […]
BIPOC Mental Health
According to the American Counseling Association:
“Black and Indigenous people and other people of color (BIPOC) experience a broad spectrum of ongoing discrimination, oppression, and inequity rooted in America’s colonialist history, all of which foster both collective and individual trauma in those communities.”
The American Psychiatric Association reported in 2017 that 17% of Black people and 23% of Native Americans live with a mental illness. People who identify as multi-racial are more likely to report any mental illness within the past year than any other racial or ethnic group. According to research performed by the American Counseling Association, BIPOC groups are:
These barriers can be attributed to a variety of factors. Examples include cultural stigma around mental illness, systemic racism and discrimination, a lack of health insurance, language barriers, mistrust of mental health care providers, and a lack of cultural competency on the part of mental health care providers.
Since COVID-19, many BIPOC communities have been impacted in numerous ways. According to the Centers for Disease Control, symptoms of depression were reported 59% more frequently by Hispanic adults than non-Hispanic White adults. It was also reported that a larger percentage of multi-racial and non-Hispanic adults of other races and ethnicities reported stress and worry about stigma or discrimination associated with being blamed for spreading COVID-19 in comparison to White adults.
What can you do to help?
Cultural competency and awareness do not occur in a vacuum. According to the American Psychological Association, the following tips can help in building cultural awareness and competency:
Claudia Coxx, LMSW , is a psychotherapist specializing in depression, anxiety, and BIPOC mental health at Marsh Psychology Group. She can be reached at ccoxx@marshpsychologygroup.com or 248-860-2024.
Women and Depression: Ways to Feel Better Reach out for social support: Getting support from people who care about you plays an essential role in overcoming depression Ask for the help and support you need and share what you’re going through with the people you love and trust. You may have neglected your most important […]
Women and Depression: Ways to Feel Better
Reach out for social support:
Getting support from people who care about you plays an essential role in overcoming depression
Ask for the help and support you need and share what you’re going through with the people you love and trust. You may have neglected your most important relationships, but they can get you through this rough time.
How to reach out for support:
Look for support from people who make you feel safe and cared for. The person you talk to doesn’t have to be able to fix you; they just need to be a good listener—someone who’ll listen attentively and compassionately without judging you.
Make facetime a priority. Phone calls, social media, and texting are great ways to stay in touch, but they don’t replace in-person quality time. The simple act of talking to someone face to face about how you feel can play a big role in relieving depression and keeping it away.
Try to keep up with social activities even if you don’t feel like it. Often when you’re depressed it feels more comfortable to retreat into your shell- but being around other people will make you feel less depressed.
Find ways to support others. It’s nice to receive support, but research shows you get an even bigger mood boost from providing support yourself. So, find ways to help others: volunteer, or help a friend.
Join a support group for depression. Being with others dealing with depression can go a long way in reducing your sense of isolation.
Support your health
In order to overcome depression, you must do things that relax and energize you. This includes following a healthy lifestyle, learning how to better manage stress, setting boundaries on what you’re able to do, and scheduling fun activities into your day.
Aim for eight hours of sleep. Depression often involves sleep problems, whether you’re sleeping too little or too much, your mood suffers.
Keep stress in check. Not only does stress prolong and worsen depression, but it can also trigger it. Figure out all the things in your life that stress you out, such as work overload, money problems, or unsupportive relationships, and find ways to manage the stress so you feel more in control.
Practice relaxation techniques. A daily relaxation practice can help relieve symptoms of depression, reduce stress, and boost feelings of well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation.
Do things you enjoy (or used to). While you can’t force yourself to have fun or experience pleasure, you can push yourself to do things, even when you don’t feel like it. Pick up a former hobby or a sport you used to like. Express yourself creatively through music, art, or writing. Go out with friends. Take a day trip to, the park, the beach, or the ballpark.
Come up with a list of things that you can do for a quick mood boost. The more “tools” for coping with depression, the better. Try and implement a few of these ideas each day, even if you’re feeling well.
Get up and get moving
When you’re depressed, just getting out of bed can seem overwhelming, let alone working out! But exercise is a powerful depression fighter—and one of the most important tools for depression recovery.
Studies show that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication at increasing energy levels and decreasing feelings of fatigue. A 30-minute walk each day will give you a much-needed boost. And if you can’t manage 30 minutes, three 10-minute bursts of movement throughout the day are just as effective.
Your fatigue will improve if you stick with it. Starting to exercise can be difficult when you’re depressed and feeling exhausted. But research shows that your energy levels will improve if you keep with it. Exercise will help you to feel energized and less fatigued.
Find exercises that are continuous and rhythmic. The most benefits for depression come from rhythmic exercise—such as walking, weight training, swimming, martial arts, or dancing—where you move both your arms and legs.
Add a mindfulness element, especially if your depression is rooted in unresolved trauma or fed by obsessive, negative thoughts.
Eat a healthy, depression-fighting diet
What you eat has a direct impact on the way you feel. Some women find dietary modifications, nutritional supplements and herbal remedies can help aid in the relief of depression symptoms. These include:
Cutting back on salt, unhealthy fats, caffeine, sugar/refined carbs, and alcohol.
Not skipping meals. Going too long between meals can make you feel irritable and tired, so aim to eat something at least every three to four hours.
Boosting your B vitamins. Deficiencies in B vitamins such as folic acid and B-12 can trigger depression. To increase your intake, eat more citrus fruit, leafy greens, beans, chicken, and eggs. Vitamin B-6 along with calcium, magnesium, Vitamin E, and tryptophan have all been shown to benefit women suffering from PMDD.
Eating foods with Omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3 fatty acids play an essential role in stabilizing mood. The best sources are fatty fish such as salmon, herring, mackerel, anchovies, sardines, and tuna, or vegetarian options such as seaweed, flaxseed, and walnuts.
Making sure you’re getting enough iron. Low iron levels can produce common depression symptoms like irritability, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating. Iron rich foods to add to your diet include red meat, beans, leafy greens and dried fruit.
Get a daily dose of sunlight
Sunlight can help boost serotonin levels and improve your mood. Aim for at least 15 minutes of sunlight a day.
Take a walk on your lunch break, have your coffee outside, enjoy an al fresco meal, people-watch on a park bench, or spend time gardening.
Challenge negative thinking
Depression puts a negative spin on everything, including the way you see yourself and your expectations for the future. When these types of thoughts overwhelm you, it’s important to remember that this is a symptom of your depression and these irrational, pessimistic attitudes—known as cognitive distortions—aren’t realistic.
Women also tend to ruminate when we’re depressed, perhaps spending hours trying to figure out why we’re feeling this way. However, rumination can maintain depression or even make it worse.
Once you identify the destructive thought patterns that contribute to your depression, you can start to challenge them with questions such as:
Get professional help if needed
If you don’t benefit sufficiently from behavioral tools, seek help from a mental health professional.
Therapy. Talk therapy is an extremely effective treatment for depression. It can provide you with the skills and insight to relieve depression symptoms and help prevent depression from coming back. One of the most important things to consider when choosing a therapist is your connection with this person. The right therapist will be a caring and supportive partner in your depression treatment and recovery.
Medication. Antidepressant medication may help relieve some symptoms of depression in women, but it won’t cure the root cause of depression.
If you feel you could benefit from further support and counseling consider finding a qualified therapist you trust who can help you manage your mental health.
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW is an individual private practice psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma treatment at Marsh Psychology Group. Carol is EMDR trained. Contact her at marshpsychologygroup.com
cvankampen@marshpsychologygroup.com
https://marshpsychologygroup.com/carol-van-kampen-lmsw/
The Amygdala Answer: How understanding the origin of your anxiety will lead to the best solution
We usually assume all anxiety has a similar biological process, but anxiety can come from two different places in the brain.
The Cortex
If anxiety is caused by our thoughts, it originates in the cortex. For example, if you are preparing for a big presentation and you start to think about all the things that could go wrong, you will likely begin to feel anxious about it. Those thoughts come from the cortex, which activates the amygdala, and then the amygdala responds by releasing an anxious response in the body.
The Amygdala
However, when anxious feelings come on suddenly before we are cognitively aware of the cause, that anxiety originates in the amygdala (without the cortex being involved). This type of response is the body’s way of protecting itself from perceived danger when there is no time to wait for our thoughts to recognize there is a problem. For example, if you heard a car horn just before being in a car accident, your amygdala might have learned to associate the sound of a horn with danger. If this happens, the amygdala will initiate an immediate anxiety response every time it hears a car horn. Only after the body has responded in this way will your thoughts catch up to apply reason and determine if the horn is a sign of danger or not. The amygdala has activated a response aimed at protecting the body, without you having cognitive awareness until after it happens.
Responding to Amygdala Anxiety
Knowing what area of the brain is causing our anxiety is the key to understanding how to best address it. If our anxiety is coming directly from the amygdala, then the cortex (and conscious thought), are not involved. So, it would not be effective to try to use our thoughts to change this type of response. With amygdala-based anxiety, the best thing we can do is work on exposure. Finding ways to expose ourselves to the trigger that causes this type of anxiety will over time teach our bodies that the situation is safe. The amygdala learns from experience, so the more we experience a perceived threat without a negative outcome, the less likely it will continue to cause an anxiety response.
Responding to Cortex Anxiety
With cortex-based anxiety, the most effective approaches address our thoughts directly. Cognitive restructuring refers to the process of identifying thoughts that cause anxiety and replacing them with helpful thoughts. Thanks to neuroplasticity, each time we do this we are creating new pathways in the brain that will help to prevent an anxious response in the future. Different problematic thought patterns contribute to anxiety, such as expecting the worst, jumping to conclusions, judging yourself unfairly, making ‘should’ statements, and perfectionism. Using these thought patterns as a guide, you can identify specific thoughts you have that lead to anxiety, and then develop coping thoughts to replace the unhelpful thoughts. For example, if you frequently think ‘I need to do this without making any mistakes’ (perfectionism) it might lead to feeling anxiety about completing the task, and possibly prevent you from doing it. A more helpful coping thought to use in its place could be ‘I am learning, it is safe for me to make mistakes.’
Anxiety is a complex issue, and this is a very brief overview of how understanding where it originates in the brain can help inform the proper intervention. These processes would best be navigated with the help of a mental health professional trained in the treatment of anxiety.
–Laura Gross, LMSW
Laura Gross is a Clinical Therapist with Marsh Psychology Group
You can contact her at:
lgross@marshpsychologygroup.com
Pittman, Catherine M., and Elizabeth M. Karle. Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, & Worry. Echo Point Books & Media, 2019.
Personal Strengths
Positive psychology is the study of well-being and identifies tools and behaviors that increase positive feelings. One area of research is cultivating personal strengths to increase wellness. A personal strength is defined as “a pre-existing capacity for a particular way of behaving, thinking, or feeling that is authentic and energizing to the user, and enables optimal functioning, development, and performance”(Paquette,2018).
Research suggests that people who identify and use personal strengths:
show a decrease in depression,
increased sense of well being,
Increased optimism,
stronger social and romantic relationships,
buffers against stress.
Positive Psychology researchers Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson identified seven categories of strengths:
Wisdom and Knowledge:
Strengths: Creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective
Humanity:
Strengths: love, kindness, social intelligence,
Courage:
Strengths: bravery, integrity, persistence, vitality
Justice:
Strengths: citizenship, fairness, leadership
Temperance:
Strengths: forgiveness and mercy, humility and modesty, prudence, self-regulation
Transcendence:
Strengths: appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, humor, spirituality
Identifying personal strengths:
Perhaps the easiest way to identify personal strengths is to take Seligman and Peterson’s Values in Action survey at www.viacharacter.org. This free online survey will identify your core strengths.
Incorporating Personal Strengths into daily life:
Once you’ve identified your strengths, take some time to ask yourself the following:
How am I using my strengths in my daily life?
Am I using all my strengths?
Are there new ways to use neglected strengths in my daily life?
Identifying and using your personal strengths increases well being. If you needs help identifying your strengths, psychotherapy can help. Meeting with a psychologist can help you explored blocks to happiness and embracing the best parts of yourself.
Resources:
The Happiness Toolbox by Jonah Paquette(2018)
VIA Character Strengths:
https://www.viacharacter.org/
Pamela Marsh, Psy.D.
Pamela Marsh is a licensed psychologist at Marsh Psychology Group. She can be reached at pmarsh@marshpsychologygroup.com or 248-869-2024.
Positive Psychology is the science of well-being. It focuses on skills that foster good feelings and resilience. One of the most powerful and impactful area of positive psychology is the practice of gratitude.
Gratitude is defined as a sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life. It consisted of 2 related steps:
Research shows that regular gratitude practice impacts both our psychology and bodies. First, gratitude has been shown to “ decrease rates of depression and stress, while enhancing positive mental states such as joy, optimism and tranquility”(Paquette, 2018). Second, people who regularly practice gratitude, have overall improved physical health, stronger immune systems, and reduced rates of stress-related illnesses. Third, our brains change structurally and chemically in ways that increase well-being.
Jonah Paquette, Psy.D.(2018) suggests a good place to start is to start noticing positive occurrences in our daily lives. The “Three Good Things” technique is a simple way to start a gratitude practice. You will need a few sheets of paper or a notebook and a pen/pencil for this exercise.
Three Good Things
Instructions: Before bed each night for 2 weeks
1) Write down three things that went well that day. They can be little or big things, there is no right answer. Example: I had a restful day off and feel relaxed.
2) Explain why you think this happened and or your contribution to the event. Example: I had a restful day because I kept the TV turned off and did not check my work email.
Try to challenge yourself not to repeat an entry over the next 2 weeks.
Shifting to a Gratitude Mindset
Once you feel comfortable noticing good things in your life, change your journal entries to reflect what you are grateful for, and explain your reasoning. This subtle adjustment adds a deeper meaning to your practice. It widens the “goodness” in your life to include an acknowledgment of an external source of goodness and an experience of being thankful. This shift deepens the positive impact on your mood and physical health.
References and resources:
The Happiness Tool Box by Jonah Paquette, Psy.D. 2018 PESI Publishing and Media, Eau Claire, WI.
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/
Be Well,
Dr. Marsh
Pamela Marsh, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist at Marsh Psychology Group, in Huntington Woods, Michigan. She can be reached at pmarsh@marshpsychologygroup.com
Boundaries in relationship are the key to fufilling connecitons.
Many of us have difficulty with boundaries in relationships and might not even be aware of the problem. If you often feel resentful, drained, unfulfilled, or taken advantage of in your relationships, poor boundaries could be the reason. Having boundaries with others means you can verbalize or act to enforce your limits and maintain your sense of self. Areas of interpersonal boundaries can be physical, mental/emotional, or resource-based.
Physical Boundaries: How others comment on your appearance, limits related to physical intimacy and touch
Mental/Emotional Boundaries: Autonomy in one’s opinions and beliefs, not feeling responsible for someone else’s feelings
Resource Boundaries: Limits on how much time you are available, how much money you contribute, what you are willing to do for the other person
How to Start Setting Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries in your relationships starts with being in touch with your own needs. We can become so used to putting others before ourselves we don’t even recognize what we need, let alone have the capacity to assert those needs! Start by noticing where you feel resentful, drained, unfulfilled, or taken advantage of in your relationships. These feelings are a sign of your unmet needs and can be used to identify where you would benefit from establishing healthier boundaries.
If healthy boundaries were never modeled for you, it can be a scary thing to try. Sometimes we are so used to automatically saying ‘yes’ we feel afraid to say ‘no’ and this becomes a resources issue. If this is the case for you, start by identifying a different response such as”‘let me think about that and get back to you”-this will allow you time to think things through and check in with yourself to determine if you genuinely want to say ‘yes’ or would be doing so out of obligation or fear.
Similarly, sometimes we are so used to focusing on others’ needs and emotions we become uncomfortable looking at our own. We have developed the false belief that meeting the needs of others will keep us safe while meeting our own needs is unsafe. In reality, fulfillment and regulation (safety) comes from being attuned to our own needs – our true self – and asserting those needs in our relationships.
It is important to note, not all boundaries need to be verbalized. Sometimes the most effective way to establish a boundary is through your behavior, and the other person might not even be aware of it. In situations where we do communicate our limits to someone, boundaries are not ultimatums or ways to try to control the other person. The goal is to be clear on our limits and become responsible for our needs in relationships, while also respecting the limits of others. When first starting this process, try writing out what you want to communicate to the other person first. Consider the relationship and what you think is beneficial for the other person to know regarding your boundary. Remember, we do not owe an explanation for our needs, but it can be helpful to communicate the ‘why’ depending on the situation.
Growing Pains
Expect to feel uncomfortable when you start this process, as with most changes we make, but sometimes it can feel too uncomfortable to do on our own. Because many of us were taught to have unhealthy boundaries in childhood, the reasons behind these difficulties are often deeply rooted and difficult to address without support. Working with a mental health professional can provide guidance in understanding our difficulties with boundaries and help us navigate healthy changes.
References:
LePera, N. (2021). How to Do the Work. Macmillan Publishers, p. 179-205.
-Laura Gross, LMSW
Laura Gross is a Clinical Therapist with Marsh Psychology Group.
You can contact her at:
(248)860-2024
lgross@marshpsychologygroup.com