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It has been a very long year. Lockdowns and social distancing have had a profound impact on our hearts and minds. But thankfully, as the vaccines roll out and the country begins to slowly open back up, we are beginning to return to some kind of normal. While many people are jumping for joy with […]
It has been a very long year. Lockdowns and social distancing have had a profound impact on our hearts and minds. But thankfully, as the vaccines roll out and the country begins to slowly open back up, we are beginning to return to some kind of normal.
While many people are jumping for joy with the idea of taking part in normal social gatherings and getting back to life pre-pandemic, there are also those individuals who are feeling a bit of social anxiety at the same time. This is to be understood.
Being social requires a set of skills. We learned as children how to interact with those around us. As we grew older, we learned even more of the intricate and complex social structures, rules, and more. Being away from society for a year or more has put a kink into these important skills for many of us. You may have learned how to ice skate as a kid, but if you haven’t been on skates for years, there’s a good chance you’ll break some bones!
Here are some tips for dealing with any social anxiety you may be experiencing:
Many will find it absolutely exhausting trying to relearn all of the social skills they haven’t practiced in some time. It’s okay, you’re not the only one who is struggling right now. Just be kind and gentle with yourself.
Some people may be feeling anxiety right now because they are unsure of how safe it is to be out in the world. If we’re honest, the talking heads on TV seem to give us mixed signals about what is really going on. All you can do is set your own boundaries and determine what you feel comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable giving or receiving hugs, don’t feel pressured by someone else. Respect your own boundaries and comfort level and take things day by day.
If you haven’t worked out physically in some time, you wouldn’t, on your first day at the gym, run for an hour on the treadmill and THEN lift heavy weights afterward. You’d take things slow so as not to hurt yourself.
Apply this same logic to your social life. If you feel out of shape socially, then take things slow. Don’t suddenly fill your social calendar with all kinds of activities and events. Start with a small gathering and go from there.
If you find your anxiety isn’t dissipating after some time, you may want to speak with a counselor. They can give you the tools to help you get out of your rut and back into a healthy and joyful life.
If you’d like to speak with someone about your anxiety, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
High-functioning anxiety is a mild type of anxiety that impacts an individual physically and mentally but does not inhibit their ability to function in daily life. High-functioning anxiety is not a clinical psychological diagnosis, but this anxiety is still very real for anyone experiencing it. With high functioning anxiety, we walk through life silently carrying the burden of anxiety while outwardly living successfully.
The symptoms of high functioning anxiety include an variety of mental, physical, and emotional effects that influence a person’s feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Because there are so many symptoms of anxiety disorders, no two people will have the same experience.
The emotional and behavioral symptoms of high-functioning anxiety could include:
Symptoms of high-functioning anxiety can start to take their toll on a person’s overall mental and physical health. It could also get worse over time or lead to other behavioral health conditions like substance abuse or depression.
Coping Strategies for High-Functioning Anxiety
Some potential ways to cope with high-functioning anxiety may include:
There are many healthy practices available for dissipating anxiety. Different strategies work for everyone, just as everyone’s anxiety takes different forms. Consulting a mental health professional can help you find what works best for you.
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW is an individual private practice psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma treatment at Marsh Psychology Group. Carol is EMDR trained. Contact her at marshpsychologygroup.com
cvankampen@marshpsychologygroup.com
https://marshpsychologygroup.com/carol-van-kampen-lmsw/
We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And I suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist. But as human beings, we can never reach a state […]
We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And I suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist.
But as human beings, we can never reach a state of perfection because we will always be a work in progress. Perfection indicates a finality – a finished product – but we as humans are always growing and changing.
Many people view perfectionism as a positive attribute. They believe the more “perfect” they are, the more success they will have in life.
Perfectionism is NOT the same thing as always doing your best. It is important that we always do our best. By doing so, we can experience healthy achievements and growth. But perfectionism takes this concept to the extreme.
People with perfectionist tendencies often have self-defeating thoughts and/or behaviors that actually make it HARDER to achieve their goals. Perfectionism also can make the individual feel stress, anxiety, and depression.
Most human beings, from time to time, will strive for perfectionism in some aspect of their life. As an example, that “perfectly moist chocolate cake” I mentioned earlier got that way because the person who baked it was trying to get everything JUST RIGHT as a gift for someone’s birthday.
But there are those people who are “full-time” perfectionists. They strive for perfection in all aspects of their life.
Here are some signs you may be a perfectionist:
Again, perfectionism is not the same thing as doing your best. It is a condition whereby the individual is almost incapable of feeling joy or pride at what they accomplish because in their own minds, they are never quite good enough.
If you believe you may have traits of perfectionism and it is causing you stress, there are things you can do to change your behavior so you can live a healthier and happier life.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
Managing Your Anxiety with Simple Grounding Techniques When we are in a state of psychological distress it can be difficult to stay present. We are either focused on worry and fear about the future, experiencing a flashback of a previous event, or in a state of dissociating. Whether we are experiencing anxiety, stress, feeling overwhelmed, […]
Managing Your Anxiety with Simple Grounding Techniques
When we are in a state of psychological distress it can be difficult to stay present. We are either focused on worry and fear about the future, experiencing a flashback of a previous event, or in a state of dissociating. Whether we are experiencing anxiety, stress, feeling overwhelmed, or triggered by something as the result of previous trauma, grounding techniques can help to bring down our level of distress. These techniques work to orient us to the present moment and can have a physical effect on our nervous system, which calms the body and decreases the level of activation we feel.
Here are some simple techniques to try:
-Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to help orient you to your surroundings and the present. Take a moment to look around you. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch (it helps to actually touch them), 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.
-Pick one of the 5 senses and focus on that. Some examples:
Touch: Hold an ice cube in your hands. Pay attention to how it feels
Sound: Play music and focus on it, noticing the different sounds
Smell: Use essential oils, especially those that promote calm such as lavender
Taste: Choose a food with a strong taste such as a mint and focus on that while you eat it
Sight: Look around you and choose a color you see. Name all the things you see that are that same color.
Being outside and around our natural surroundings helps us feel more connected to the present. Take time to notice what is happening around you. Do you feel the warmth of the sun, or is it cold? Maybe you hear the leaves blowing in the wind, or birds chirping. Try closing your eyes to get more connected to things you experience through senses other than sight.
To get the grounding benefits of exercise you do not need to run a marathon. Simply going for a walk outside can help. If you are experiencing a higher level of distress, a more vigorous activity might be more beneficial, such asdoing a few jumping jacks. Feelings are energy in our bodies, and this will help to move and let go of some of the activation we are feeling.
This is a simple technique proven to help calm your nervous system. It is also good for distracting from distressing thoughts because it takes some attention to keep counting out the breath. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts.
Repeat as many times as you need. Here is a link to a guided Square breathing that uses sound and does the counting for you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfUGpJE1D9o
Try practicing and get in the habit of using these skills when you are not distressed so it will be easier to use them when you need some grounding.
These techniques are meant to address the experience of psychological distress in the moment. If you find yourself having difficulty staying grounded and these skills are not enough, working with a therapist can help to address the underlying causes.
-Laura Gross, LMSW
Laura Gross is a Clinical Therapist with Marsh Psychology Group.
You can contact her at:
(248)860-2024
lgross@marshpsychologygroup.com
What is Sleep Hygiene? Sleep hygiene refers to healthy sleep habits. Good sleep hygiene is important because of how crucial getting good sleep is for your mental and physical health, as well as your overall quality of life. There is also clear evidence that sleep deprivation has a negative effect on emotion and performance. Studies indicate […]
What is Sleep Hygiene?
Sleep hygiene refers to healthy sleep habits. Good sleep hygiene is important because of how crucial getting good sleep is for your mental and physical health, as well as your overall quality of life. There is also clear evidence that sleep deprivation has a negative effect on emotion and performance. Studies indicate that a night of restful sleep may reset the brains’ ability to effectively prepare for the emotional challenges of the next day.
Ongoing poor sleep can be a risk factor for the development of major depressive disorder. The risk of feeling depressed and/or anxious (as well as worsening existing anxiety and depression) increases with the severity of insomnia, and so it is important to recognize and sort out sleep problems as soon as they are identified.
Sleep & Mental Health
A good night’s sleep can enhance your memory and problem-solving skills.
Maintaining a healthy sleep schedule helps you stay motivated, alert, and engaged. A full night’s sleep can help your mood and even prevent feelings of depression. Missed sleep can lead to psychological and physical ill health in many ways.
Psychological symptoms and effects include:
Sleep & Physical Health
A solid night of sleep can help you maintain a healthy weight. Sleep helps your immune system stay strong. The less you sleep, the harder it can be to fight common infections.
Physical symptoms and effects include:
Ten steps to improve your sleeping habits for better mental and physical health.
If you feel that poor sleep is contributing to feelings of anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, consider finding a qualified therapist you trust who can help you manage sleep hygiene, as well as well as teach and support you with other healthy coping strategies.
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW is an individual private practice psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma treatment at Marsh Psychology Group. Carol is EMDR trained. Contact her at marshpsychologygroup.com
cvankampen@marshpsychologygroup.com
https://marshpsychologygroup.com/carol-van-kampen-lmsw/
There are plenty of things that occur in our daily lives that cause us stress: commuter traffic, hassles at work, and tension in our personal relationships to name just a few. If we don’t find healthy ways to deal with this stress, it can fester, eventually causing anxiety, depression, and even health issues such as […]
There are plenty of things that occur in our daily lives that cause us stress: commuter traffic, hassles at work, and tension in our personal relationships to name just a few. If we don’t find healthy ways to deal with this stress, it can fester, eventually causing anxiety, depression, and even health issues such as hypertension and heart disease.
One of the best ways to beat stress is through mindfulness meditation. This practice helps train you to keep your attention “in the now.” By training your mind to stay in the present moment, you stop it from ruminating on all of the things that bring you stress. While it can be challenging in the beginning, many practitioners of meditation receive amazing benefits:
If you’re someone who suffers from a lack of sleep, you know how it can affect your mood and ability to focus clearly. Research has found that in adults diagnosed with sleep disturbances, meditation improves the quality of sleep obtained each night.
Studies have also found that mindfulness meditation can reduce the cortisol levels produced in the body. Cortisol is a stress hormone. When levels of cortisol remain high, it can negatively impact your health.
Many older adults experience loneliness and isolation due to the loss of their spouse combined with an inability to lead an independent social life. One study found that an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program decreased loneliness and related pro-inflammatory gene expression in seniors.
These are only a handful of the many benefits of practicing meditation.
Starting a meditation practice does not have to feel overwhelming and it doesn’t require you to make big lifestyle changes. It simply requires you to dedicate 10-20 minutes each day in your practice.
You may want to look for group meditation classes in your local area to get a feel for how it works. There are also plenty of guided meditations online to choose from.
The biggest thing to remember is that it is called a meditation practice for a reason: you won’t get it “right” right out of the gate. And truthfully, there is no right or wrong. There is only a desire and intent to let go of the chatter in your mind and focus on the present moment. That’s it. Once you get the hang of things, you too can experience some amazing benefits.
Not many of us remember our teenage years as walks in the park. That’s because this time in our life is punctuated by uncertainties, social pressure, and a surge of hormones. Because of this perfect storm, many teens act out, which can cause a lot of chaos and disruption in the home and family. Here […]
Not many of us remember our teenage years as walks in the park. That’s because this time in our life is punctuated by uncertainties, social pressure, and a surge of hormones. Because of this perfect storm, many teens act out, which can cause a lot of chaos and disruption in the home and family.
Here are 3 reasons why teens can benefit from therapy:
Most teens have a certain level of self-worth issues growing through this awkward phase. But there are those teens that really suffer from low self-esteem. Therapy can help adolescence build their self-esteem.
Dealing with school, friendships, work, choosing a college… are all major stressors in a young person’s life. And many teens find it hard to speak with their parents. Therapy offers teens a way to communicate and let go of some steam and pressure that is building up.
There should be a rule that no young person should suffer the loss of a close friend or family member. Sadly, many teens do experience loss and the grief that accompanies it. This can be incredibly difficult for the teen and their parents to navigate. A therapist has been trained to know exactly how to guide a young person through the stages of grief.
It’s perfectly normal for teens to feel worried and anxious at times. But some teens experience such severe anxiety, it negatively impacts their life, schoolwork and relationships. Therapy can help teens learn to manage their symptoms.
Unfortunately, many teens learn to cope with the intensity of life by using drugs and alcohol. A therapist can assess a teen’s substance use and determine the best course of action.
These are just some of the benefits teens can gain from working with a therapist. If you or a loved one would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
SOURCES:
What To Do About COVID Fatigue In the early stages of the pandemic, people met up on zoom cocktail hours, took online classes, talked about the bread they were baking. When summer and nicer weather hit, I could barely drive through my neighborhood there were so many people outside walking. As the holidays neared and […]
What To Do About COVID Fatigue
In the early stages of the pandemic, people met up on zoom cocktail hours, took online classes, talked about the bread they were baking. When summer and nicer weather hit, I could barely drive through my neighborhood there were so many people outside walking. As the holidays neared and passed, people were focused on how to spend their first COVID Christmas without extended family. After New Year’s, with colder weather and shorter days, it’s possibly felt more difficult to get through the days.
Getting easily frustrated or irritated with people, feeling like you want to cry, or just feeling numb, along with physical ailments like headaches, stomachaches, difficulty sleeping or concentrating, can be signs of long-term stress, in this case, the stress of COVID fatigue. It’s been nearly 11 months since the pandemic started, along with the various stages of shut downs we’ve been in. We’ve not been able to see family, friends, or even go to stores like we used to. So what can we do right now to combat COVID fatigue?
MOVE – walking outside (even when it’s frigid) can do wonders for your perspective. If you don’t want to be in the cold, put on some music and dance or find a yoga video on YouTube. Moving your body helps improve your mood and can make you feel like you’re in control of something.
GRATITUDE – it may not feel like we have a lot to be grateful for, but even if you can pause over your first cup of coffee in the morning and really be thankful that it’s there, that can help start your day off right. Finding little things throughout your day to be grateful for can help get you out of your funk.
CENSOR – be careful what you’re watching and listening to. If you’re overwhelmed by the pandemic, stay away from the news. Find uplifting movies or podcasts to spend your time on.
CONNECT – it might be hard to consider another way to look at the screen, but joining online groups where you feel supported, or reaching out to family and friends, can remind you that you are not alone.
TALK – if you feel like none of the above helps and you’re not sure what to do, look for a trained mental health specialist that you can talk to. We all need extra support at different times of our lives and many therapists are meeting virtually to accommodate clients.
Although we are all in this pandemic together, it has affected each of us differently. While there seems to be hope for a more normal future, don’t wait to try out ways to help you feel better now.
Julie Lublin, MA, LPC
Julie Lublin is a staff therapist at Marsh Psychology Group. She can be reached at jlublin@marshpsychologygroup.com or 248-860-2024.
How You Can Heal from Developmental Trauma:
Developmental Trauma is a term used to describe childhood trauma, such as chronic abuse, neglect or other harsh adversity which occurred in the home. When a child is exposed to overwhelming stress, and their caregiver does not help reduce this stress, or is the cause of the stress, the child experiences developmental trauma. Children then becomes at risk for a host of complex emotional, cognitive, and physical illnesses that can last throughout their adult lives.
Developmental traumas are also called Adverse Childhood Experiences. (ACEs). ACEs can be Abuse, Neglect or household dysfunction.
ACE’s can include having a parent with mental illness or substance abuse, losing a parent due to divorce, abandonment or incarceration, witnessing domestic violence, not feeling loved or not feeling close to family members, not having enough food or clean clothing, as well as direct verbal, physical or sexual abuse.— ACEs can harm developing brains, predisposing people to autoimmune disease, heart disease, cancer, depression, and a number of other chronic conditions;decades after the trauma took place.
In the famous study known as the Adverse Childhood Events (ACE) study, adults who experienced a higher number of adverse experiences were found to have much higher rates of serious physical health outcomes, high-risk health behaviors, and early illness and mortality.These outcomes can include, lack of physical activity, smoking, alcoholism, drug use, missed work, obesity, depression, diabetes, suicide attempts, STD’s, heart disease, stroke and more.
Knowledge is Power. Once you understand that your body and brain have been harmed by the biological impact of early emotional trauma, you can begin to take the necessary, steps to reduce the effects of the early adversity left on your neurobiology. You can begin to heal. You can reduce the increased chance of inflammation, depression, addiction, physical pain, and disease. Science tells us that biology does not have to be destiny. ACEs are part of our past, but the effects of our trauma does not have to dictate our present. We can rewire our brains. Even if we have been set on high reactive mode for decades, we can still lower our risks. We can respond to life’s inevitable stressors more appropriately and shift away from an overactive inflammatory response.
Here are some steps to take to start the healing process: There is no better time to begin your transformation.
Take the ACE questionnaire.
The single most important step you can take toward healing and transformation is to fill out the ACE questionnaire and share your results with your health-care practitioner. For many people, taking the 10-question survey helps to normalize the conversation about adverse childhood experiences.
Begin Writing to Heal.
Write down your story of childhood adversity, using a technique psychologists call “writing to heal”. Over a four day period, write down your deepest emotions and thoughts about the emotional challenges that have been influencing your life the most. In your writing, let go, and explore these events and how they have affected you. You might tie this experience to your childhood, your relationship with your parents, people you have loved or love now. Write continuously for twenty minutes a day. The exercise of writing about your emotions and thoughts has been proven to have positive effects on health.
Practice mindfulness meditation
Research indicates that individuals who have practiced mindfulness meditation and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) show an increase in gray matter in the same parts of the brain that are damaged by adverse childhood experiences.
Choose a time every day to focus on your breath. Learn diaphragmatic breathing and grounding techniques. Your breath is the best natural calming treatment—and it has no side effects.
Yoga
When children face ACEs, they often store decades of physical tension from a fight, flight, or freeze state of mind in their bodies. Studies show that yoga decreases blood flow to the amygdala, the brain’s alarm center, and increases blood flow to the frontal lobe and prefrontal cortex, which help us to react to stressors in healthier ways. Yoga has also increase levels of GABA—or gamma-aminobutyric acid—a chemical that improves brain function, promotes calm, and helps to protect us against depression and anxiety.
Build Social Connections
Research has found that having strong social ties improves outcomes for men and women with cancer, autoimmune disorders, or other chronic diseases. This is because positive interactions with others boost our production of oxytocin, a “feel-good” hormone that dials down the inflammatory stress response
EMDR Therapy
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a form of psychotherapy that helps individuals remember difficult experiences safely and relate to those memories in ways that no longer cause pain in the present. EMDR therapists help patients to trigger memories and the connected emotions and beliefs. As the patient recalls specific difficult experiences, they are asked to complete eye movements with the therapists help. These eye movements are similar tothe healing action of REM sleep.
EMDR creates a neurobiological state that helps the brain change neural connections that have been dysregulated by chronic, unpredictable stress and past experiences-often ACE’s. This change can lead to a reduction of the traumatic memories we store in the brain and calm the brains alarm center.
Therapy
Sometimes, the long-lasting effects of childhood trauma are just too great to tackle on our own.Part of the power of therapy lies in allowing ourselves to finally form an attachment to a safe person. A therapist’s unconditional acceptance helps us to change the circuits in our brain that tell us that we cannot trust anyone. With this change, we can begin to grow new, healthier neural connections and begin to heal.
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW is an individual private practice psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma treatment at Marsh Psychology Group. Carol is EMDR trained. Contact her at marshpsychologygroup.com
cvankampen@marshpsychologygroup.com
https://marshpsychologygroup.com/carol-van-kampen-lmsw/
Sources: 8 ways people recover from post childhood adversity syndrome; Donna Jackson Nakazaw
What is Developmental Trauma / ACE’s- Portico, Canada’s mental health and addiction network
Anxiety and the Avoidance Trap Avoidance is a common behavior associated with anxiety. For example, if someone has social anxiety, they might avoid attending social gatherings where they would be expected to interact with a lot of people. This avoidance feels like a relief initially because the threat of experiencing uncomfortable symptoms goes away. While […]
Anxiety and the Avoidance Trap
Avoidance is a common behavior associated with anxiety. For example, if someone has social anxiety, they might avoid attending social gatherings where they would be expected to interact with a lot of people. This avoidance feels like a relief initially because the threat of experiencing uncomfortable symptoms goes away. While it makes logical sense in the moment, avoidance makes anxiety worse over time.
Every time this person says ‘no’ to a social gathering, they are enforcing the idea they cannot handle the experience and need to avoid it to be safe. As they lose confidence in their ability to tolerate discomfort, they will be more likely to avoid it again the next time. What starts with large gatherings could develop into avoiding other situations. Over time, their life becomes increasingly limited.
If avoidance is not the answer, how do we best address anxiety around specific triggers? The answer is the opposite of avoidance: exposure. Find ways to begin to tolerate anxiety-causing situations, and the uncomfortable feelings that result, by developing coping skills. Start slowly with something just outside of your comfort zone to begin to build confidence and tolerance, and work toward addressing larger triggers.
Depending on the severity of one’s anxiety and the extent of avoidance, exposure can be extremely difficult to do without help. Working with a mental health professional can provide the support and guidance needed to face anxiety and overcome the avoidance cycle.
-Laura Gross, LMSW
Laura Gross is a fully licensed clinical therapist with Marsh Psychology Group. Contact her at:
lgross@marshpsychologygroup.com
Marsh Psychology Group: 248-860-2024