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There are plenty of things that occur in our daily lives that cause us stress: commuter traffic, hassles at work, and tension in our personal relationships to name just a few. If we don’t find healthy ways to deal with this stress, it can fester, eventually causing anxiety, depression, and even health issues such as […]
There are plenty of things that occur in our daily lives that cause us stress: commuter traffic, hassles at work, and tension in our personal relationships to name just a few. If we don’t find healthy ways to deal with this stress, it can fester, eventually causing anxiety, depression, and even health issues such as hypertension and heart disease.
One of the best ways to beat stress is through mindfulness meditation. This practice helps train you to keep your attention “in the now.” By training your mind to stay in the present moment, you stop it from ruminating on all of the things that bring you stress. While it can be challenging in the beginning, many practitioners of meditation receive amazing benefits:
If you’re someone who suffers from a lack of sleep, you know how it can affect your mood and ability to focus clearly. Research has found that in adults diagnosed with sleep disturbances, meditation improves the quality of sleep obtained each night.
Studies have also found that mindfulness meditation can reduce the cortisol levels produced in the body. Cortisol is a stress hormone. When levels of cortisol remain high, it can negatively impact your health.
Many older adults experience loneliness and isolation due to the loss of their spouse combined with an inability to lead an independent social life. One study found that an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program decreased loneliness and related pro-inflammatory gene expression in seniors.
These are only a handful of the many benefits of practicing meditation.
Starting a meditation practice does not have to feel overwhelming and it doesn’t require you to make big lifestyle changes. It simply requires you to dedicate 10-20 minutes each day in your practice.
You may want to look for group meditation classes in your local area to get a feel for how it works. There are also plenty of guided meditations online to choose from.
The biggest thing to remember is that it is called a meditation practice for a reason: you won’t get it “right” right out of the gate. And truthfully, there is no right or wrong. There is only a desire and intent to let go of the chatter in your mind and focus on the present moment. That’s it. Once you get the hang of things, you too can experience some amazing benefits.
What To Do About COVID Fatigue In the early stages of the pandemic, people met up on zoom cocktail hours, took online classes, talked about the bread they were baking. When summer and nicer weather hit, I could barely drive through my neighborhood there were so many people outside walking. As the holidays neared and […]
What To Do About COVID Fatigue
In the early stages of the pandemic, people met up on zoom cocktail hours, took online classes, talked about the bread they were baking. When summer and nicer weather hit, I could barely drive through my neighborhood there were so many people outside walking. As the holidays neared and passed, people were focused on how to spend their first COVID Christmas without extended family. After New Year’s, with colder weather and shorter days, it’s possibly felt more difficult to get through the days.
Getting easily frustrated or irritated with people, feeling like you want to cry, or just feeling numb, along with physical ailments like headaches, stomachaches, difficulty sleeping or concentrating, can be signs of long-term stress, in this case, the stress of COVID fatigue. It’s been nearly 11 months since the pandemic started, along with the various stages of shut downs we’ve been in. We’ve not been able to see family, friends, or even go to stores like we used to. So what can we do right now to combat COVID fatigue?
MOVE – walking outside (even when it’s frigid) can do wonders for your perspective. If you don’t want to be in the cold, put on some music and dance or find a yoga video on YouTube. Moving your body helps improve your mood and can make you feel like you’re in control of something.
GRATITUDE – it may not feel like we have a lot to be grateful for, but even if you can pause over your first cup of coffee in the morning and really be thankful that it’s there, that can help start your day off right. Finding little things throughout your day to be grateful for can help get you out of your funk.
CENSOR – be careful what you’re watching and listening to. If you’re overwhelmed by the pandemic, stay away from the news. Find uplifting movies or podcasts to spend your time on.
CONNECT – it might be hard to consider another way to look at the screen, but joining online groups where you feel supported, or reaching out to family and friends, can remind you that you are not alone.
TALK – if you feel like none of the above helps and you’re not sure what to do, look for a trained mental health specialist that you can talk to. We all need extra support at different times of our lives and many therapists are meeting virtually to accommodate clients.
Although we are all in this pandemic together, it has affected each of us differently. While there seems to be hope for a more normal future, don’t wait to try out ways to help you feel better now.
Julie Lublin, MA, LPC
Julie Lublin is a staff therapist at Marsh Psychology Group. She can be reached at jlublin@marshpsychologygroup.com or 248-860-2024.
How You Can Heal from Developmental Trauma:
Developmental Trauma is a term used to describe childhood trauma, such as chronic abuse, neglect or other harsh adversity which occurred in the home. When a child is exposed to overwhelming stress, and their caregiver does not help reduce this stress, or is the cause of the stress, the child experiences developmental trauma. Children then becomes at risk for a host of complex emotional, cognitive, and physical illnesses that can last throughout their adult lives.
Developmental traumas are also called Adverse Childhood Experiences. (ACEs). ACEs can be Abuse, Neglect or household dysfunction.
ACE’s can include having a parent with mental illness or substance abuse, losing a parent due to divorce, abandonment or incarceration, witnessing domestic violence, not feeling loved or not feeling close to family members, not having enough food or clean clothing, as well as direct verbal, physical or sexual abuse.— ACEs can harm developing brains, predisposing people to autoimmune disease, heart disease, cancer, depression, and a number of other chronic conditions;decades after the trauma took place.
In the famous study known as the Adverse Childhood Events (ACE) study, adults who experienced a higher number of adverse experiences were found to have much higher rates of serious physical health outcomes, high-risk health behaviors, and early illness and mortality.These outcomes can include, lack of physical activity, smoking, alcoholism, drug use, missed work, obesity, depression, diabetes, suicide attempts, STD’s, heart disease, stroke and more.
Knowledge is Power. Once you understand that your body and brain have been harmed by the biological impact of early emotional trauma, you can begin to take the necessary, steps to reduce the effects of the early adversity left on your neurobiology. You can begin to heal. You can reduce the increased chance of inflammation, depression, addiction, physical pain, and disease. Science tells us that biology does not have to be destiny. ACEs are part of our past, but the effects of our trauma does not have to dictate our present. We can rewire our brains. Even if we have been set on high reactive mode for decades, we can still lower our risks. We can respond to life’s inevitable stressors more appropriately and shift away from an overactive inflammatory response.
Here are some steps to take to start the healing process: There is no better time to begin your transformation.
Take the ACE questionnaire.
The single most important step you can take toward healing and transformation is to fill out the ACE questionnaire and share your results with your health-care practitioner. For many people, taking the 10-question survey helps to normalize the conversation about adverse childhood experiences.
Begin Writing to Heal.
Write down your story of childhood adversity, using a technique psychologists call “writing to heal”. Over a four day period, write down your deepest emotions and thoughts about the emotional challenges that have been influencing your life the most. In your writing, let go, and explore these events and how they have affected you. You might tie this experience to your childhood, your relationship with your parents, people you have loved or love now. Write continuously for twenty minutes a day. The exercise of writing about your emotions and thoughts has been proven to have positive effects on health.
Practice mindfulness meditation
Research indicates that individuals who have practiced mindfulness meditation and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) show an increase in gray matter in the same parts of the brain that are damaged by adverse childhood experiences.
Choose a time every day to focus on your breath. Learn diaphragmatic breathing and grounding techniques. Your breath is the best natural calming treatment—and it has no side effects.
Yoga
When children face ACEs, they often store decades of physical tension from a fight, flight, or freeze state of mind in their bodies. Studies show that yoga decreases blood flow to the amygdala, the brain’s alarm center, and increases blood flow to the frontal lobe and prefrontal cortex, which help us to react to stressors in healthier ways. Yoga has also increase levels of GABA—or gamma-aminobutyric acid—a chemical that improves brain function, promotes calm, and helps to protect us against depression and anxiety.
Build Social Connections
Research has found that having strong social ties improves outcomes for men and women with cancer, autoimmune disorders, or other chronic diseases. This is because positive interactions with others boost our production of oxytocin, a “feel-good” hormone that dials down the inflammatory stress response
EMDR Therapy
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a form of psychotherapy that helps individuals remember difficult experiences safely and relate to those memories in ways that no longer cause pain in the present. EMDR therapists help patients to trigger memories and the connected emotions and beliefs. As the patient recalls specific difficult experiences, they are asked to complete eye movements with the therapists help. These eye movements are similar tothe healing action of REM sleep.
EMDR creates a neurobiological state that helps the brain change neural connections that have been dysregulated by chronic, unpredictable stress and past experiences-often ACE’s. This change can lead to a reduction of the traumatic memories we store in the brain and calm the brains alarm center.
Therapy
Sometimes, the long-lasting effects of childhood trauma are just too great to tackle on our own.Part of the power of therapy lies in allowing ourselves to finally form an attachment to a safe person. A therapist’s unconditional acceptance helps us to change the circuits in our brain that tell us that we cannot trust anyone. With this change, we can begin to grow new, healthier neural connections and begin to heal.
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW
Carol Van Kampen, LMSW is an individual private practice psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma treatment at Marsh Psychology Group. Carol is EMDR trained. Contact her at marshpsychologygroup.com
cvankampen@marshpsychologygroup.com
https://marshpsychologygroup.com/carol-van-kampen-lmsw/
Sources: 8 ways people recover from post childhood adversity syndrome; Donna Jackson Nakazaw
What is Developmental Trauma / ACE’s- Portico, Canada’s mental health and addiction network
Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is a major depressive disorder that occurs during the same season each year. Also known as the “winter blues,” SAD typically comes on in the fall and winter, when the light is diminished. SAD is believed to affect nearly 10 million Americans and is four times more common in women […]
Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is a major depressive disorder that occurs during the same season each year. Also known as the “winter blues,” SAD typically comes on in the fall and winter, when the light is diminished.
SAD is believed to affect nearly 10 million Americans and is four times more common in women than men. Many people experience symptoms that are severe enough to affect their quality of life.
Though not everyone will experience the same symptoms, here are some of the most common:
If you suffer from SAD, here are some ways you can alleviate your symptoms:
By far the greatest relief, according to research, comes from the use of lightboxes. Lightboxes emit high-intensity light between 2,500 to 10,000 lux. Compare this to a normal light fixture that emits only 250 to 500 lux.
Lightboxes closely mimic the sun’s natural rays, helping our brains produce the right amount of neurotransmitters that are responsible for mood.
Depending on the severity of your symptoms, you may only need to use the lightbox for 30 minutes once a day. For more severe symptoms, people have found relief by using the box for long periods of time and can often feel true relief in as little as two weeks.
Some insurance providers will cover the cost of lightboxes, but not all do, so be sure to speak with your provider.
While it may feel counterintuitive, if not downright impossible, to get up and get moving when you’re feeling depressed, exercise is one of the best ways to improve your mood. Exercise not only reduces stress and tension, but it releases those feel-good endorphins. Studies have also found that one hour of aerobic exercise outdoors (even if the sky is overcast) has the same positive effect on mood as 2.5 hours of using a lightbox.
It’s common to turn to junk food when you’re feeling the winter blues. High-sugar foods tend to give us a temporary boost in energy levels and mood. But then we come crashing down and feel even worse. A better choice is to eat a balanced and nutritious diet, opting for complex carbohydrates like sweet potatoes and whole grains.
If your symptoms are very severe, and if you are having any thoughts of harming yourself, then it is important to speak with a therapist who can help you navigate your depression and offer coping tools.
If you or a loved one are currently suffering from SAD and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
The Invisible Trauma: Childhood Emotional Neglect: Understanding what didn’t happen in childhood, and how it is causing your unhappiness today When we think of abuse and neglect, it usually brings to mind concrete examples of intentional harm through physical, sexual, or verbal abuse. But there is another common form of mistreatment that often occurs in […]
The Invisible Trauma: Childhood Emotional Neglect: Understanding what didn’t happen in childhood, and how it is causing your unhappiness today
When we think of abuse and neglect, it usually brings to mind concrete examples of intentional harm through physical, sexual, or verbal abuse. But there is another common form of mistreatment that often occurs in childhood and goes largely unnoticed. When a child’s emotional needs are routinely overlooked, ignored, invalidated, or unaddressed, we call it emotional neglect.
“But I wasn’t Abused”
Many adults who are dealing with the effects of emotional neglect are hesitant to see there was a problem in the way they were raised, and even remember having good childhoods: their physical needs were met, no one overtly mistreated them, they had a loving family. Emotional Neglect can be difficult to recognize because it most often happens unintentionally. The parent was unable to meet the child’s emotional needs, whether it be the result of an addiction, mental illness, being focused on other things (work, divorce, illness), or simply not having the skills necessary to nurture the child’s emotional experience. In an emotionally neglectful environment, the child is shown their feelings are not important or are wrong. When this occurs, the child learns to detach from and ignore their own feelings, and this continues into adulthood if not addressed.
Here are common signs of Emotional Neglect:
1)You feel empty or disconnected from feelings, you are unable to identify and express feelings
2)You feel guilt or shame about your needs or feelings
3)You fear being dependent on others, and you reject offers of help
4)You do not seem to ‘know’ yourself: your likes and dislikes, your strengths and weaknesses
5)You are hard on yourself and give others more compassion than you give yourself
6)You are easily overwhelmed and discouraged
7)You have low self-esteem and are sensitive to rejection
8)You believe you are flawed; feel there is something inherently wrong with you that you cannot name
So What Can I Do About it Now?
Because emotional neglect is caused by caregivers who were not attuned to your emotions and did not acknowledge them adequately, you can start by doing this for yourself. Begin to check in with yourself throughout the day and identify how you are feeling, and why. Avoid judging or criticizing how you feel; work on accepting your emotions. Once you are able to identify, accept, and connect with your emotions, you can learn to support your own needs and communicate them to others.
This process takes time and can be significantly enhanced with the support of a mental health therapist who can help guide you in learning to meet your own emotional needs.
Sources:
-Webb, J., & Musello, C. (2019). Running on empty: Overcome your childhood emotional neglect
-https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/202001/9-signs-childhood-emotional-neglect-and-3-ways-heal
-Laura Gross, LMSW
Laura Gross is a fully licensed social worker who specializes in teen mental health issues. Contact her at:
lgross@marshpsychologygroup.com
Marsh Psychology Group: 248-860-2024
Valentine’s day is just around the corner. For many people that means celebrating with their spouse or partner and showing them extra love and attention. But for others, Valentine’s Day is a sad reminder that they are single or are perhaps grieving the recent loss of their significant other. If you are celebrating it alone […]
Valentine’s day is just around the corner. For many people that means celebrating with their spouse or partner and showing them extra love and attention. But for others, Valentine’s Day is a sad reminder that they are single or are perhaps grieving the recent loss of their significant other.
If you are celebrating it alone this year, here are a few ways you can alleviate your sadness this Valentine’s Day.
It’s bad enough to feel lonely, but it’s even worse to scold yourself for doing so. Loneliness is not an indication that you’re doing anything wrong or that there is something wrong and unlovable about you.
Even people that are in relationships can feel incredibly lonely. Loneliness affects everyone at some point in their life. It’s not a sin to feel this way, so stop scolding yourself.
How many times during the year do you make a real effort to show yourself love? If you’re like most people, you don’t really think much about how you treat yourself.
This Valentine’s Day, if you find yourself a party of one, try and make the best of it by focusing all of your love and attention on yourself. Take yourself out to a nice dinner. Or, if you don’t like the idea of sitting at a table alone surrounded by couples, then order in your favorite food and watch your favorite movie.
Take a nice long bath. Listen to your favorite band. Buy yourself a little gift on the way home from work. Use this Valentine’s Day to commit to showing yourself more love and kindness throughout the year.
Valentine’s Day is a holiday to show love. No one says that love must be shown in a romantic way.
This is a great time to show your affection and appreciation for the wonderful people in your life. Get your best friend a box of chocolates or your mom a bouquet of flowers. Put a card on your neighbor’s windshield and your coworker’s computer monitor.
You can be filled with love by being loved, and you can be filled with love by loving others. The more love YOU show this holiday, the more love you will feel inside. And you would be amazed at how the loneliness quickly slips away when you are full of love.
Don’t let the commercialism of the holiday make you feel alone and isolated. You really can have a lovely Valentine’s day if you love yourself and others.
Watching a loved one suffer from depression is incredibly difficult. All you want to do is help them feel better. But when it becomes obvious you can’t take their pain away, you can become frustrated. As a friend or family member of someone suffering from depression, it’s important to remember that your loved one is […]
Watching a loved one suffer from depression is incredibly difficult. All you want to do is help them feel better. But when it becomes obvious you can’t take their pain away, you can become frustrated.
As a friend or family member of someone suffering from depression, it’s important to remember that your loved one is dealing with a real medical condition and you are, most likely, not equipped to handle their recovery alone.
Having said that, there are things you can do to support your loved one and help them on their journey back toward health and happiness.
Understand Treatment is Key
As we mentioned, depression is a medical condition and it requires treatment from a professional therapist. Do not try and take on someone’s depression by yourself. Yes, lend support, care, and compassion, but understand that they will need medical treatment, just as they would if their leg was broken. If they themselves do not recognize how important treatment is, do your best to help them understand.
Be Vocal
Often loved ones suffering from depression are the topic of conversation, but not part of it. It’s not enough to talk to other family members and discuss how concerned you are about your sister or uncle, let your sister and uncle know you see them suffering and you’re there for support. Offer to drive them to therapy or simply lend an ear. Those suffering from depression often feel lonely and isolated, so reach out as best you can.
Help Them Stay Part of the World
Those suffering from depression typically lose interest in activities they once found enjoyable. You can help your loved one by getting them active and part of the world once more. The key here is to be patient and stay committed. You can’t force your loved one to take you up on an invitation. Don’t bully them, just encourage them as best you can. Should they say “no” to your invite 50 times, don’t give up on them. Be patient, stay committed, and continue to extend your hand. Through weekly treatment they will eventually come around and say “yes.”
Get Educated
One of the best things you can possibly do to support your loved one who is suffering from depression is to learn as much about the condition as you possibly can. It’s a good idea to speak with their therapist to get recommendations of resources that will help you learn more.
Watching a loved one suffer from depression is not easy, but knowing there are ways you can help them will lighten the load for you both.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
During this time of year, radio and TV ads would have us believe we should all feel merry and bright. Sadly, that’s not always the case. According to the National Institute of Health, many people experience depression during the holiday season. Some of the most common reasons people experience depression during this time of year are: Financial hardship – […]
During this time of year, radio and TV ads would have us believe we should all feel merry and bright. Sadly, that’s not always the case. According to the National Institute of Health, many people experience depression during the holiday season.
Some of the most common reasons people experience depression during this time of year are:
If you can relate and are looking for some relief, here are ways you can cope with your depression this holiday season:
Feel Your Feelings
If you are grieving a loss, it’s important that you’re honest about your feelings. Your instinct may be to put on a brave face for friends and family, but forcing yourself to be happy for the sake of others will only make matters worse. Sadness and grief are a part of life, no matter the season, and it is 100% okay for you to feel your feelings.
Give Something Besides Money
If a lack of finances is the primary source of your mood, look for other ways you can give to others. You can volunteer at a local charity. Are you a good cook? Offer to cook for friends and family. If your talent is writing, write your kids a bedtime story or, if it’s painting, paint a beautiful mural on their wall. At the end of the day, thoughtful gifts from your heart will leave the greatest lasting impression.
Focus on Self Care
It’s important that you care for yourself during the holiday season. Eat right, drink filtered water, exercise, and get plenty of rest. While these steps are important for everyone throughout the entire year, they are particularly important for those suffering from depression during the holidays.
Seek Help
Depression is nothing to take lightly. If your depression has lingered, is getting worse, or you’re having suicidal thoughts, it’s imperative that you seek help from a qualified mental health professional. They will be able to help you navigate your overwhelming emotions and offer tools to manage symptoms.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. You don’t have to suffer alone. I would be more than happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
For many people, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating. Here are some ways you can cope with the holidays after a loss: Recognize You are Not Alone It’s easy to feel as though you are the […]
For many people, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating.
Here are some ways you can cope with the holidays after a loss:
It’s easy to feel as though you are the only one experiencing great pain during the holiday season. Everywhere you turn, people seem to be happy, putting up decorations, buying gifts and making holiday plans. It’s important to recognize the truth right now, and that is that you are not alone. There are people all over the world who have experienced loss, some perhaps very recently.
No one expects you to feel joyful and in the holiday mood right now, so don’t feel as though you must pretend for others’ sake. It is very important that you honor whatever emotions you may be experiencing, whether it’s sadness, anger, regret or a combination.
The holidays are usually a busy time for people. There is much to accomplish and many events to host and/or attend. You do not have to keep your normal schedule this year. You simply will not have the mental or emotional stamina for it. So take the time you need. If you don’t feel like attending many (or any) events this year, that is fine. People will understand.
One of the worst parts about losing a loved one is the feeling that we no longer have any control over our lives. Loss makes us feel helpless. One way to fight this feeling is to help others who are in need. As a bonus, connecting with others who are hurting can often be a salve on our hearts as well.
If you have children, it’s important to understand that they are looking to you right now to know what life will be like from now on. To a child, the loss of a parent or sibling can frighten them terribly. Though you may not at all feel like celebrating the holidays, doing so helps your child know that life does go on and that there is space in your life to feel joy along with sadness.
If you have experienced loss and would like to explore grief counseling, please be in touch. You don’t have to suffer alone.
People use different coping strategies when dealing with stress and other overwhelming emotions. Some people use substances such as drugs and alcohol, some smoke cigarettes, and some charge a lot of money to their credit card. And then there are those people who take comfort in their favorite foods. Emotional eating often leads to weight […]
People use different coping strategies when dealing with stress and other overwhelming emotions. Some people use substances such as drugs and alcohol, some smoke cigarettes, and some charge a lot of money to their credit card. And then there are those people who take comfort in their favorite foods.
Emotional eating often leads to weight gain and the development of health issues such as type two diabetes and high blood pressure. If left unchecked, emotional eating can lead to a life-long reliance on eating as a coping mechanism.
If you or someone you love is an emotional eater, becoming more mindful of eating is how you can manage your food issues. Here are some ways to become a more mindful eater:
Most emotional eaters are completely unaware of the kind or amount of food they eat on a daily or weekly basis. It’s important to start tracking what you consume as well as how much so you can recognize the real issue you may be having. This is not an exercise in harshly judging yourself, it’s simply so you can recognize the link between your emotions and eating habits.
For instance, you may see that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty okay days, but Thursday was when you got yelled at while you were at work and also got a speeding ticket, and ALSO ate fast food for lunch and dinner and ate almost a gallon of ice cream. Once you see this pattern over and over, that you tend to eat on those days you are stressed, angry, sad, etc., you will be able to start making positive changes.
When we eat emotionally, we don’t stop to think about the amount of food we are eating, we just shove it in as quickly as possible so those carbs can start making us feel better. The next time you find yourself eating based on your emotions, try and catch yourself and meter out a fair-sized portion. For instance, don’t sit in front of the TV with an entire bag of potato chips, take out a small bowl’s worth and put the rest away.
When we are alone, we can eat with abandon. But when we eat with others, we tend to have more awareness about what and how much we put in our mouths. When your day is stressful, instead of going out to lunch by yourself, where you’re apt to hit 2-3 drive-throughs, invite some other people out. This may help you to use more self-control.
These are just a few of the ways you can begin to recognize your emotional eating and gain control over your food choices. If you would like to speak to someone about the emotions you are dealing with and learn healthier coping strategies, please be in touch. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.