Disenfranchised grief is a type of grief that isn’t accepted or acknowledged by society. (This makes sense, as Merriam-Webster defines “disenfranchised” as being “deprived of some right, privilege, or immunity.”) For example, people may tell the grieving person that they should be “over it” by now. Unfortunately, when someone’s grief isn’t validated by those around them, they may not get the support they need to cope with their loss, which can in turn prolong the grieving period.

When Is Grief Disenfranchised?

Disenfranchised grief can occur whenever someone’s grief doesn’t align with societal expectations. For instance, your grief may be disenfranchised if:

• You’re grieving the loss of someone who wasn’t a close friend or immediate family member.
• You regularly experience death as part of your job, and as such, your loved ones expect you to not take those losses so personally (this is common among doctors, nurses, and EMTs).
• You’re grieving the loss of something other than life (e.g., a friendship or a job).
• You’re not experiencing the emotions normally associated with grief (e.g., sadness and anger).
• Your grief lasts longer than your loved ones expect it to.

Discuss Your Grief With a Professional

Disenfranchised grief can lead to serious consequences, such as depression, low self-esteem, withdrawal from social circles, and substance abuse. So, if you think you may be experiencing disenfranchised grief, it’s important that you speak to a therapist who specializes in healing from loss. Contact us today to schedule an appointment with one of the knowledgeable therapists at our practice.

Have you recently lost a dream? Maybe you always imagined going to the college your parents attended, but you received a rejection letter after applying. Perhaps you pictured getting back together with a significant other, but you found out that they’ve gotten married to someone else. Or maybe you dreamed of having a family, but you’re dealing with infertility.

Whatever the circumstances may be, the loss of a dream can lead to feelings of grief, potentially including disbelief, sadness, and anger. Here are some tips for steps you can take to overcome your grief and heal from this loss:

• Give yourself time to grieve. People often think of grief only in terms of illness or death, but it’s certainly possible—and common—to grieve the loss of a dream. Take the time you need to process your feelings, and don’t let others minimize what you’re going through.
• Be realistic. If your ex has moved on, for example, focus on what led to your breakup in the first place. If you had conflicting personalities or beliefs, it may be for the best that you didn’t get back together.
• Consider alternatives. Your dream may still be possible, just not in the way you originally pictured. For instance, if you had dreamed of giving birth, you may still be able to create a family through surrogacy or adoption.

Most importantly, take note of this quote by C.S. Lewis, the renowned author of “The Chronicles of Narnia”: “You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.”

We Can Help You Cope With Your Loss

If you’re healing from the loss of a dream, one of the best things you can do is speak to an experienced therapist. A therapist who specializes in grief—like the ones at our practice—will have unique insight into the way you may be feeling right now, and they can help guide you through your loss. Contact us today and let us know that you’d like to attend a therapy session.

In many cases, grief occurs when someone has already suffered a loss. But grief can also result from a loss that is impending but hasn’t yet occurred. When this happens, it’s referred to as “anticipatory grief” or “preparatory grief.”

Anticipatory grief commonly affects individuals who are expecting to lose someone or something important in the near future. For example, you may experience anticipatory grief if:

• You or a loved one were diagnosed with a terminal illness or a progressive condition (e.g., Alzheimer’s disease or multiple sclerosis).
• You’ve been told that you’ll need to have surgery to remove a body part (e.g., an amputation or a mastectomy).
• You’re experiencing marital problems that you expect will lead to a divorce.
• You’ve been told that your unborn child has a congenital disorder.
• Your adult child is about to move out of the family home.

Like the other types of grief, anticipatory grief can lead to sadness, irritability, anger, anxiety, fear, guilt, and other intense emotions. However, it’s important to remember that anticipatory grief can also serve a beneficial purpose—it can motivate you to address unresolved issues and process your thoughts and feelings before the event in question occurs.

Speak to a Therapist

If you think you may be experiencing anticipatory grief, we invite you to schedule an appointment with one of the skilled therapists on our team. We’re highly experienced in treating the many forms of grief, and we’ll provide you with the tools and tips you need to move forward with your life. Contact us today.