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Having confidence helps individuals achieve greater success in life. When someone believes they can accomplish something, nothing can stop them from reaching that goal. Equally important, however, is having a healthy self-esteem. Many people believe they can achieve a goal, they just don’t believe they are worth the effort. Having confidence and a positive self-esteem can help you live […]
Having confidence helps individuals achieve greater success in life. When someone believes they can accomplish something, nothing can stop them from reaching that goal.
Equally important, however, is having a healthy self-esteem. Many people believe they can achieve a goal, they just don’t believe they are worth the effort.
Having confidence and a positive self-esteem can help you live a more fulfilling life by making your dreams a reality. Here are 3 ways you can build both:
1. Stop Self-Criticism in its Tracks
In order to grow as a person, all of that negative self-talk has to stop. Here’s what you do:
The next time you have a self-critical thought, ask yourself two questions:
There is a very good chance that the answer to both of these questions will be “no.” When you answer no over and over again, you will start to consider that you are something other – something more – than what you originally perceived.
2. Keep a Journal
This won’t be an ordinary journal. It will be one in which you will write down all of your victories. Writing down successes helps you to feel them and remember them better. The successes could be small, “I kept my cool when my daughter came home at 2AM,” or big, “I beat out 5 other people to get that promotion!” Write these down every day and whenever you need a confidence boost, reread what you’ve written.
3. Keep Your Commitments
When you agree to do something, it’s important you keep your word. If you don’t commit and follow through, you learn not to trust yourself and lose faith in your ability to get results. Empower yourself by always keeping your commitments, to yourself and to others. It can also be helpful to seek positive support and guidance from an objective third party. A therapist will be able to help you navigate your thoughts and offer tools for correction.
Have you been struggling with a lack of confidence or low self-esteem? Are you interested in exploring therapy to get to the bottom of these issues? If so, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
It is said we fear the unknown, which is why many people shy away from receiving therapy. It can be intimidating walking into your therapist’s office for the very first time, not knowing what to expect. On the flip side, some people assume they know everything about therapy and are then quite surprised when receiving treatment. The […]
It is said we fear the unknown, which is why many people shy away from receiving therapy. It can be intimidating walking into your therapist’s office for the very first time, not knowing what to expect.
On the flip side, some people assume they know everything about therapy and are then quite surprised when receiving treatment.
The thing is, though therapy is not as stigmatized as it once was, it is still not talked about in most social circles. And so many people have the wrong ideas about it. If you’ve been considering seeking help from a mental health professional, you most likely have some questions as well.
With that in mind, here is what no one tells you about therapy – but should!
It’s Not Like on TV
Pop culture would have you believe the minute you step foot into a therapist’s office, he or she will have you looking at Rorschach tests and talking about your dreams within minutes.
While these approaches can be used in therapy, they more than often are not. Dream interpretation can come up, but typically only if the client wants to discuss an interesting or disturbing dream they had.
Also, many people think the entire session is devoted to discussing your early childhood years and the effect your parents have had on your life. While many therapists will want to get a history on you to uncover specific behavioral patterns and emotional memories that have helped wire the brain, the idea of therapy is NOT to blame your parents for all of your current troubles.
You Won’t Feel Better Immediately
Though the end goal of therapy is to create better habits and behaviors that lead to creating a happy and fulfilling life, the process of getting there will sometimes be uncomfortable. It is unrealistic to expect you will feel better immediately. Therapy takes time and commitment.
You Have to Want to Change
You can seek advice from a nutritionist and personal trainer who will give you the tools to get fit and healthy. But if you don’t take their advice and you don’t do the work, you won’t see results.
The same is true for therapy. Your therapist will be gentle and kind and go at a pace that feels comfortable for you, but ultimately you have to want to get better. It takes work from you to get there. And the way people get better is to face their own behaviors, recognize the patterns, and make healthier choices. But don’t worry, your therapist will be there with you every step of the way, cheering you on.
Therapy isn’t magic, but it does provide you with the tools for lasting change.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
Did you ever play the game called “telephone” growing up? One kid whispered a secret message into the ear of the kid next to him. That kid then whispered the “same” message into the ear of the kid next to her. On and on each kid would whisper the message around the circle until you […]
Did you ever play the game called “telephone” growing up? One kid whispered a secret message into the ear of the kid next to him. That kid then whispered the “same” message into the ear of the kid next to her. On and on each kid would whisper the message around the circle until you came to the last kid, who would then announce the secret message aloud.
Often the final message sounded nothing like the original message. That’s because every person has their own way of hearing and sharing information. Sometimes it’s accurate – sometimes it’s not.
In this way, you could say that language is a necessary evil. Without it we would not be able to share ideas and information with each other. But when each person has their own language filters, information can become skewed.
Personal information and language filters can make discussing and understanding anxiety disorders difficult. While we all experience anxious moments from time to time, 18% of adults in the United States are actually affected by a form of anxiety disorder.
But how many times have you heard a friend or a coworker say something like, “I was totally having a panic attack yesterday when you didn’t show up!” They weren’t actually having a panic attack, they were merely concerned you were late.
When everyone assumes they have an issue with anxiety, they believe they have first-hand experience of the disorder and therefor know what it is. But using certain language that may or may not be accurate to convey a common feeling (ie – being nervous before a job interview) is not the same thing as truly knowing something.
Panic Disorder VS Social Anxiety
There are two main types of anxiety disorder and for this discussion, it’s important to make the distinction between each.
Panic Disorder
People who have been diagnosed with and suffer from panic disorder believe very strongly that the “panic attacks” they experience mean something is physically very wrong with them. For instance, many sufferers believe they are having a heart attack. Some may believe the dizziness and shortness of breath is a result of some serious and undiagnosed illness such as a brain tumor.
Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)
People with social anxiety disorder experience anxiety when faced with social situations. They do not believe their anxiety is related to an illness or disease, yet have little control over their fear of social interactions. Their anxiety becomes debilitating when the person feels they may be singled out, embarrassed or ridiculed.
People who suffer from social anxiety disorder will do anything to alleviate their fear. This means decreasing the amount of social interactions they have on a daily basis as much as possible. This disorder negatively impacts the person’s ability to emotionally connect with others, and holds them back in their career and academic life.
Because of language discrepancies, those who don’t have an anxiety disorder sometimes believe they do, while those that do may assume they don’t.
The main point to get across here is this:
It is normal to feel anxious, fearful and worried from time to time. But feeling anxiety on a daily basis, to the point where you are concerned for your physical health or are compromising your career and personal relationships is not normal.
Anxiety Disorders Are Treatable
No one should have to live with a debilitating anxiety disorder. The good news is, anxiety disorders are treatable. A therapist can help to uncover the root cause of the fear and provide tools and strategies to cope.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
A great many alcoholics are also suffering from major depression. Because alcohol can feed our brain’s serotonin receptors, it can make someone feel good for a short amount of time. But eventually the person crashes and feels even worse than they did before. And this vicious cycle continues and is, unfortunately, very hard to break […]
A great many alcoholics are also suffering from major depression. Because alcohol can feed our brain’s serotonin receptors, it can make someone feel good for a short amount of time. But eventually the person crashes and feels even worse than they did before.
And this vicious cycle continues and is, unfortunately, very hard to break without asking for professional help.
The Chicken or the Egg Theory
Both alcoholism and depression are psychiatric illnesses that cause distress and impair a person’s ability to function. It is not surprising at all that these two diseases are linked, but which tends to come first?
Researchers have found that alcoholism doubled a person’s risk of developing depression. In fact, the analysis indicated that alcoholism was more likely to cause or worsen depression than depression was likely to cause or worsen alcohol use/misuse.
6 Ways That Alcohol Can Worsen Depression
The bottom line is alcohol abuse and depression are a dangerous combination. And unfortunately, this combination can be self-reinforcing and incredibly hard to break. Anyone who is feeling depressed and has a tendency to abuse alcohol should speak with a therapist to get their symptoms under control. A therapist will be able to offer coping strategies as well as refer you to a local addictive treatment center.
If you or a loved one are interested in exploring cognitive behavioral treatment, please be in touch with me. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is a therapeutic protocol used in the treatment of mental and emotional trauma. It has been widely praised in the United States and is currently used by agencies such as the American Psychiatric Association, the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, and the Departments of Defense and Veterans […]
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is a therapeutic protocol used in the treatment of mental and emotional trauma. It has been widely praised in the United States and is currently used by agencies such as the American Psychiatric Association, the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, and the Departments of Defense and Veterans Affairs.
Those suffering from PTSD caused by major traumas such as sexual or physical assault, combat experiences, accidents or the sudden death of a loved can benefit from EMDR therapy. Sessions work to alleviate PTSD symptoms like flashbacks and nightmares, angry outbursts, difficulties sleeping and concentrating, and feelings of depression and isolation.
Recent research has pointed to the fact that PTSD can also result from less dramatic life events, such as hurtful experiences during childhood. In some cases, these can cause even more symptoms of PTSD than major traumas like combat or terrorist attacks.
In either case, once trauma has been experienced, there is a disruption in how the brain processes information. In a “normal” brain that has not experienced a shocking event, processing systems digest information about what has been experienced and make appropriate connections. Those reactions to the event that are no longer useful, any emotions or physical sensations, are released.
However, when an individual experiences a traumatic event, this processing system is disrupted and the negative memories and emotions, as well as physical sensations and beliefs, are stored in the brain. These stored traumatic interpretations mingle with current events to color them negatively. In short, the past becomes the present.
The Benefit of EMDR Therapy
EMDR is an effective protocol to treat these unprocessed past memories that are poisoning the present. EMDR is able to remove the anxiety, fear and sadness that cause individuals to avoid or overreact to situations.
EMDR techniques allow individuals to identify early memories that are the root of their problems and change their emotions, thoughts, and even physical sensations surrounding them. These same techniques can also help people achieve desired goals by understanding why they do what they do and how they can manage life and their own behaviors better.
EMDR is used to treat a variety of issues including:
If you or a loved one suffer from any of the above and believe you may benefit from EMDR, please contact me. I would be happy to discuss how I and this particular therapy approach might help.
If you are suffering from a chronic illness, you are not alone. Almost half of the population in the United States is currently battling some form of chronic physical illness. In fact, chronic illness is the number one driver of healthcare costs in America. Some of the most prevalent examples of chronic illnesses are: Epilepsy […]
If you are suffering from a chronic illness, you are not alone. Almost half of the population in the United States is currently battling some form of chronic physical illness. In fact, chronic illness is the number one driver of healthcare costs in America.
Some of the most prevalent examples of chronic illnesses are:
Many people suffering from a chronic illness can become depressed. It is estimated that roughly one-third of chronic illness patients suffer from depression, a rate that is significantly higher than in the general population.
Depression is often an immediate response to the diagnosis. It can be overwhelming to be told you will need to be treated for your illness for weeks, perhaps even a lifetime. Certain types of chronic illness can also, and quite suddenly, change how a person lives their day-to-day life. They may not be able to do the same things and, in some cases, completely lose their independence.
There are physical illnesses which can cause depression by hampering the central nervous system or endocrine system. Some examples would include thyroid disease, Cushing’s disease, Parkinson’s disease and chronic pain.
If you or someone you know has recently been diagnosed with a chronic disease, it’s important to watch out for signs of depression. These can include:
Becoming educated about the link between chronic illness and depression is extremely important. So is seeking help. Be sure to discuss any symptoms with your doctor. He or she may be able to refer you to a therapist.
Many patients have found they can treat their depression right alongside their illness by using medication, psychotherapy or a combination of both. It is also helpful to surround yourself with a loving support network of friends and family.
If you or a loved one is experiencing depression as a result of living with a chronic illness and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, or EMDR, is a set of standardized protocols that incorporate elements from many different treatment approaches. It has been researched extensively and proven effective for the treatment of trauma. What Issues Can EMDR Treat? EMDR is used to treat a variety of mental health issues including: – Panic attacks […]
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, or EMDR, is a set of standardized protocols that incorporate elements from many different treatment approaches. It has been researched extensively and proven effective for the treatment of trauma.
What Issues Can EMDR Treat?
EMDR is used to treat a variety of mental health issues including:
How Exactly Does EMDR Work?
It appears that EMDR has a direct effect on the way the brain processes information. This is very beneficial to someone who has experienced a trauma, as their brain cannot process information as it normally does.
To these people, a moment in time becomes “stuck” in their minds, and they experience the trauma, the sounds, smells and images over and over again. This, in turn, effects how they see the world around them and relate to other people.
After a successful EMDR session, the brain can once again process information normally, and the person no longer relives the trauma. While they still remember that the event happened, they are not physically, mentally or emotionally upset by it.
What is perhaps most interesting about EMDR is that it appears to be very similar to what occurs naturally during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. For this reason, EMDR can be considered a physiologically based therapy that helps individuals deal with distressing events in a new and less disturbing way.
What are EMDR Sessions Like?
EMDR is an integrative psychotherapy approach that incorporates eight phases of treatment. How long it takes an individual to experience benefits of this therapy depends on their personal history.
Treatment typically targets three different areas: past memories, present disturbance, and future actions. The goal of this treatment is to process information and experiences differently. Each session aims to leave the patient with healthy emotions, understanding, and fresh perspectives that will ultimately lead to healthy and useful future behaviors and interactions.
How Long Does it Take EMDR to Work?
It is often helpful to have one or two sessions with the individual to fully understand the nature of their problem to determine if EMDR therapy will be an appropriate treatment. During these sessions, the therapist will answer any questions the prospective patient may have about EMDR. Once the therapist and individual agree EMDR is the right way to go, actual therapy may begin.
Sessions typically last between 60 and 90 minutes. How many sessions will be required will be based on the type of problem, personal circumstances and the degree of the trauma. EMDR may be used within a standard “talking” therapy, as an adjunctive therapy with a separate therapist, or as a treatment all by itself.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring EMDR treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
As we head into summer, many people are already getting their backyards and patios ready for big family BBQs and holiday get-togethers. Summer is definitely a time for relaxing and having some fun with the people you love most. But the summer holiday get-togethers can be extremely hard to handle when you are grieving the […]
As we head into summer, many people are already getting their backyards and patios ready for big family BBQs and holiday get-togethers. Summer is definitely a time for relaxing and having some fun with the people you love most.
But the summer holiday get-togethers can be extremely hard to handle when you are grieving the recent death of a loved one. Many people aren’t sure how to handle the dichotomy of wanting to be around those they love, and yet feeling the sadness for their loss.
If you are wondering how to deal with your grief during the upcoming summer holidays, here are some tips I hope will help:
Feel Your Pain
Recognize that grieving is an important part of healing. Stuffing your feelings down will only prolong your grief. If your instinct is to avoid all get-togethers in an effort to not feel your pain, you may want to rethink your decision.
Choose Wisely
While you shouldn’t completely avoid being social with your loved ones, you don’t have to attend every summertime get-together. Choose the events that you think you can handle and say “no” to the ones that may bring you to a very dark place. Be firm with loved ones who may try and convince you to attend, thinking it will be good for you. Ultimately, you are the only one who knows how you feel and what you can handle.
Have an Escape Plan
Be sure to drive yourself to the event if you can so you can leave when you want or need. If you must get a ride, try to get one with someone who will take you home when you need to go. You may also want to download the Uber or Lyft app as another option.
Honor Your Loved One
Find news ways to keep the memory of your loved one alive during the summer holidays. You could make their favorite dish or baked item to bring to the BBQ. You could also light and release sky lanterns. Creating unique ways to memorialize your loved one will help you keep their memory with you during this time.
It may also help to speak with someone over the summer months. A therapist can offer tools to cope as well as guide you along your grieving path to wellness. If you’re interested in treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Most children are brought up to be kind and respectful of other people. They are taught to consider others’ feelings and help those in need. But when it comes to taking care of themselves, many people lack the ability to put their own needs first. To some, the concept of self-care is as foreign as […]
Most children are brought up to be kind and respectful of other people. They are taught to consider others’ feelings and help those in need. But when it comes to taking care of themselves, many people lack the ability to put their own needs first.
To some, the concept of self-care is as foreign as the language and customs of far away lands. The idea of putting their own needs first feels somehow wrong, or even selfish.
The good news is that it’s never too late to learn to treat yourself as you do others; to put yourself first in a healthy, energizing way. Here are some ways you can rewire your brain so it becomes increasingly easier to put yourself first, thereby recharging your life.
Learn to Say No
Being a caring and compassionate person is wonderful, but sacrificing yourself by saying “yes” all the time to other people’s needs will deplete your energy. Learning to set boundaries and say no is not only your right, it’s your responsibility. Try to start saying no more often, free of guilt.
Ask for Help
When you’ve taken on the role of helping others, it can feel uncomfortable asking for help when you need it. After all, you’re the one people go to when in need.
The thing to remember is, all of these people who come to you for help feel no shame or discomfort in asking for it. They need help, they ask for it, they get it. Try to do the same. As soon as you release the pressure you’ve put on yourself to handle everything alone, you will feel a tremendous weight lifted.
Get to Know Yourself!
Do you know what makes you tick? What do you like and dislike? People who are wired to neglect their own needs don’t typically know themselves very well. Knowing oneself is seen as a luxury they can’t afford.
Self-love and self-care require you get to know your SELF. Take some time to discover what you enjoy. Once you find what it is that pleases you, commit to doing it more often. Having more pleasure in your life will make you a happier person.
Taking these actions will have a tremendous impact on your life. As you get better and better at putting your needs first, you will feel happier and more empowered. You will know, deep down, that your own needs matter and you are worth the effort.
Some people have a tremendously hard time with these exercises because they have a very low self-esteem. And the longer you have lived with a low self-esteem, the harder it is to make positive changes.
In these instances, seeking the guidance of a trained therapist can be incredibly beneficial. He or she can help you work through any childhood trauma and provide tools to manage any anxiety or depression that often accompanies a low self-esteem.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
Few things zap your energy the way a stressful day can. Stress is known to reduce our levels of serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters that play an important role in our mood, energy and motivation. After a difficult day, you might be tempted to lounge on the couch watching TV until it’s time to go to […]
Few things zap your energy the way a stressful day can. Stress is known to reduce our levels of serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters that play an important role in our mood, energy and motivation. After a difficult day, you might be tempted to lounge on the couch watching TV until it’s time to go to bed. Although it might feel good in the moment, it won’t give you the mood and energy lift you need after a rough day. Here are five simple ways you can recharge yourself.
1. Unplug
After a stress-filled day, you need to unwind—and that means turning off your phone for some much-needed “me” time. It can be tempting to sit on the couch with your phone all night, checking emails, responding to texts, or getting lost on Facebook or Instagram.
Unplug. Turn your phone off and put it in a drawer in a room in your house that’s out of the way, or leave it in your car. Don’t touch it again until after you’ve had a good night’s rest.
2. Go Outside
If the sun is still out after your rough day, put on your comfy shoes and go for a quick walk. Exposure to the sunlight will help your brain release serotonin, which will boost your mood and help you feel calm and focused. Exercise is also one of the best ways you can improve your mood, helping you relieve stress and sleep better at night. Even if the sun is down, a walk outside will still help, as the exercise and fresh air will help you feel invigorated.
3. Refresh Yourself
After a tough day, take the time to refresh yourself by taking a 45-minute nap. A quick 5 or 10-minute meditation session can also help lift you up. Use your phone to find a guided meditation on YouTube, or play some relaxing music while you meditate quietly for a few minutes. You can also pamper yourself with a bubble bath, or if you need something more uplifting, take a quick shower. Before you get out of the shower, splash some ice cold water in your face; the chill will refresh you and wake you up.
4. Eat Healthy
A healthy dinner or snack is just the thing you need after a rough day. Avoid comfort foods that will leave you feeling sluggish. Instead, fuel your body with protein, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. These foods will slowly release energy into your bloodstream, and you’ll likely get a mental boost as well from the feel-good result of eating healthy.
5. Make Plans
Looking forward to something is a great way to boost your mood long-term. Plan a vacation, a weekend getaway, or just a day trip. Even planning a special meal, or a visit to a new bar or restaurant will help; give yourself something to look forward to.
Are you struggling to maintain your energy levels? Is stress causing you to feel tired, anxious or depressed? A licensed therapist can help you find ways to manage stressful situations. Call my office today and let’s schedule a time to talk.